Once Upon A Time, Jungkook

13. A lesson

After school we decided to take a look around the city. We drove around half of the city on Jungkook's motorcycle and I loved the feeling of my arms wrapped around his waist. His cologne became my new favorite scent in the world. We stopped at a park, sat on a bench while talking and drinking sodas. We also - looked around, just as planned. But Hoseok - was nowhere to be seen.

We even drove to the robbed stores, that my dad told me about.

Maybe he was arrested?

"Do you think he's at home?" Jungkook asked me.

I could only shrug but something inside of me told me that Hoseok no longer lived in that place. That he's not there.

If you commit such a crime, you probably go somewhere no one will look.

I was deep in thought but Jungkook's words pulled me out:

"Look!"

A couple hundred meters away from us, a head popped up from behind a bunch of flowers. The person walked with his head down and his shoulders raised.

It's Hoseok!

He was walking alone. At first, when he noticed us, he froze for a second and then started running. He was scared but soon enough he realized that he's not getting away so he stopped. Stopped and waited for us to approach him.

When we got closer, I couldn't recognize him at all: he was as thin and pale as a piece of paper but just with a black eye.

"Why aren't you coming to school?" I asked because it seemed logical for me to ask such a question.

"To what school?" Hoseok answered and looked down to the ground.

I was left confused.

After thinking for a minute I realised:

He already attended the school of life. Everyday he studied the hard lessons of life and understood it's cruelness. He was doing great at the school of life.

"So, you started to steal now?" Jungkook asked without beating around the bush. His voice was stern and he seemed disgusted.

I also looked down at the ground and played with my fingers.

Jungkook, you sounded disgusted by his action...
But what about me?
I also stole...
Are you disgusted in me too?

Hoseok didn't answer anything. As if he didn't even hear it. He didn't react in the slightest and it seemed like we were talking about someone else's life - not his.

"They took her away..." he whispered after some time. "They....took her...away...from me"

Me and Jungkook shut our mouths up. Suddenly, a memory of a certain little, blue eyed girl popped up in my mind.

It got awkward really quick.

"I couldn't do anything..." Hoseok began again. "I couldn't.... couldn't do anything..."

And that's when I started to worry. It was if Hoseok changed completely.

He was biting his lip, really hard. His hands became two fists and his eyes shut tightly. It seemed as he was in true pain.

Not psychical pain. No, no. The most horrible pain there is. Pain if losing someone close to you. Someone who was your everything.

I never knew such feeling so I couldn't console him...

He looked like a hurt animal, who's heart has been pierced by the sharpest arrow or speer there is.

"I couldn't... couldn't..." His hand gripped his heart and he let everything out on the wall next to him. He was shaking, as if he was having a panic attack.

Then, he sat down on the ground and calmed down a bit after some time. But his eyes were still full of something that I couldn't quite put a finger on.

They were...empty.

I stood there shocked. I finally understood everything.

Hoseok felt responsible for his little sister. He was going insane because of the responsibility he was feeling. Yoongi also drowned himself in the river because he knew that he couldn't look his parents in the eyes after what happened. He also felt responsible for what had happened.

But what about me?

I stole money from the people that gave birth to me, raised me, dressed me up and gave me food. And here I was - staying silent.

I stayed silent and lived on just like that?

I truly hate myself.