Quintessential

Chapter 9

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Hermoine stopped, stunned at the sight before her. She was conflicted between two choices; bring Lily back upstairs because both her and Remus were drunk, or go back upstairs and leave them be since they were functioning teenagers who should be allowed to make their own decisions and face the consequences.

In the end Hermoine's caring instincts won. Hermoine cleared her throat loudly, causing the two to jump away from each other.

"Seems like you're having fun," Hermoine said with a blank expression.

Lily drunkenly giggled while Remus just looked sad and confused.

They seemed to have switched roles from earlier. Remus had been bubbly and happy an hour before and Lily was annoyed at everything and everyone. Perhaps they had drank more, or maybe it was the mixture of exhaustion that caused them to change moods.

"Hermoine! I lost you earlier," the redhead slurred excitedly.

"Yeah, but you were supposed to stay by James or Mary, not the second most drunk person in the room. The first being you," Hermoine scolded.

"Shhhh," Lily brought her finger up to Hermoine's lips and shushed her, clearly not interested in what she was saying.

"Okay Miss Giggles," Lily laughed again at Hermoine's words," you're going to bed. Remus, don't move a muscle, I'll be right back."

Despite Lily's protests, Hermoine dragged her upstairs to their dorm and got her ready for bed before going back downstairs to help Remus. She was concerned for how long she had left Remus alone, scared that might have wandered off or decided to do something else dangerous.

When she returned back to the window seat, she still saw Remus sitting there. But now he sitting upright, tucked in a ball and his head between his knees. His hands were grasping at his hair as if he was angry but Hermoine heard sobs coming from the boy.

She quickly sat next to him and pulled him in a hug, without saying a word. He responded by resting his head onto her shoulder, burying his face into her neck. She could feel his hot tears pooling on her skin but that was the furthest thing from her mind. He wrapped his arms around her as well, despite his sadden state he was still quite strong.

"Remus?" Hermoine's voice called out after a moment,"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

He shook his head no, without moving his arms or face.

"Do you want me to bring you upstairs so you can sleep?"

This time he lifted his head and moved his arms. Hermoine looked at his tear stricken face, all red and puffy, as his eyes widen in fear.

"I can't," he said, looking terrified almost.

"And why's that?"

"Because he's going to be there. I can't see him."

"Remus, who's going to be there?" Hermoine was convinced he was just drunk and confused, but Remus' emotions had taken over his temporary high. He wasn't drunk anymore, he hadn't been since Hermoine interrupted him and Lily. He was just incredibly sad and confused.

"Sirius."

"Why can't you see Sirius?"

"I don't want to explain it, Hermoine. It's bad enough that it keeps replaying in my head."

"You're not drunk..."

"No."

Hermoine slapped him across the face.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Remus exclaimed.

"You kissed my friend while she was drunk!"

"No! It wasn't- I was drunk then but now I'm not!"

"Bullshit, no one can just stop being drunk so soon!"

"Hermoine, you can. Listen I didn't want to kiss Lily anyways. I was drunk, she was drunk, I- I was sad and mad and confused and drunk out of my mind, then she came on to me and- well we started kissing alright. I don't know what you want me to say. The second we pulled away all my emotions came flooding back!"

Hermoine paused for a moment, processing what he just said.

"I'm sorry," She finally said.

"It's fine."

"Remus why won't you tell me what happened with you and Sirius?"

"I can't, I can't tell anyone."

"Can I get James? It's not healthy for you to bottle up your feelings."

"You're one to talk. You don't tell anyone anything. You're all mysterious and secretive and somehow you know everything but none of us know anything about you."

It was clear his emotions were running high, Hermoine wanted to realize that, realize that he didn't mean it. But she couldn't. His words stung, cut deep.

It's not like those thoughts weren't already running through her own head, but hearing it from him, from someone else. It just confirmed what she was scared about, no one can trust you and get close to you if they don't know who you are.

Hermoine stood up, she started backing away.

"Wait, Hermoine I-"

"Go to bed," she cut him off, "if you still want to talk about this in the morning then we'll talk but you need some rest," he tried to interrupt her but she kept going, "Go upstairs and sleep in your bed, I don't care what happened with you and Sirius, you need to sleep in your own bed."

With that she walked up the stairs to her dorm. Leaving Remus standing there speechless.

Instead of going asleep, her mind was clouded by thoughts. They swirled in her brain, rotating in an endless spiral. She contemplated thought after though, possible outcome after possible outcome.

One reoccurring thought stood out in particular; She had to tell someone, who better to tell than the person she trusted most out of all of them. The one she knew for longest in her time, the one she looked up to then. The one who would be the most capable of helping, and probably the most understanding one.

Hermoine Granger was going to tell Remus Lupin.

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Author's Note:

Sorry I'm not updating them at the same time like I normally do. There was a problem with Chapter 10 but it'll be out in an hour or two.

Also, thank you for 250 reads!!!