We protect each other, That's just something you and I do

Chapter 4

Katniss POV.
I open my eyes to see my dark cold bedroom. I get off the bed ando to the kitchen.
I look at the clock that is on the wall. It's already 11:30. Wow, I overslept.
But I just started sleeping when the sun was already born. I dont like to sleep during the night. The darkness scares me and I don't want to be off guard of something attacks me. I know it's maniac. But I am maniac. I don't know it's from the lack of sleep ir everything I've been throught but I'm going insane. I cant help it.
I see that Sae left me some good for breakfast but I really dont feel like eating so I just go sit infront of the fireplace.
As I'm on my way tivthe the living room, Buttercup comes out of nowhere.
After the rebellion I really grew to love this horrible cat. It was Prim's. I loved her and she loved the cat so I love it too.
"Hey, Buttercup." he meows in answer.
I pick it up and go to the living room.
I'm about to sit when I hear the sound of someone digging in the front yard.
At first I get scared, thinking the people I killed are coming back from the dead to punish me, but then I remember that they are dead and arent ever going to come back. Not for me, not for their families, not for their loved ones. And it's my fault.
I'm starting to feel frustated with myself aso I just run to the front door without thinking very much.
What I see startles me. It can't be, it can't be him. But it is him, gardening in my front yard, eventhough it is about to start raining.
"Peeta" I breath.
He looks up from his work and smiles. Not an happy smile, like the Peeta that I knew used to have, but close enough.
I take a better look at him. He looks better than he did during the rebellion, but not much better. He got back his muscled body, with the strong arms that used to protect me from my nightmares. His curly hair is messy and tangled, but it is the same blond it was. He still has the scars from his time in the Capitol and the burns from the bombing and the rebellion. They are still pretty noticeble, even his hands have burns. His eyes are the clear sky blue they used to be, except for that shine they used to have in them. His shirt and jeans are covered in dirt, just like the tip of his nose.
I notice what that he is planting something. They look like roses. Roses, is Peeta trying to scare me. He probably still hates me.
"Katniss" I cut him off.
"What's that?" I ask arshly.
"I thought you'd like them. For her." he says.
Then I notice. These are not roses, planted by a monstruos Peeta. These are primroses, planted by the sweet caring Peeta I used to know. Primroses for my Primrose. My sweet little sister, who's now dead, reduced to ashes.
My eyes start to get wet.
"I thought those were roses"I say, suddenly feeling guilty by my rudeness.
Peeta's lips curl into a sad smile "Not even I can get near those." he says.
My first reaction is to go back inside but I stop myself. I instead I go outside and kneel beside Peeta.
He looks at me and our eyes lock for a second, until we both look away.
I focus on planting the primroses, but soon tears are already leaving my eyes.
We stay silent, planting the flowers for god knows how long.
I cry as I plant the Prim roses, putting all my Anger on digging the dirt.
After a while it starts raining but we dont stop, until the las t Primrose is planted, and I break down sobbing and screaming.
Suddenly I feel a pair of strong arms around me, lifting me up and taking me inside. I look up to see a wet and dirty Peeta carrying me bridal style. He takes me upstairs and puts me in the bathroom. Then he turns on the water and fila the bath with warm water. Then, without saying anything he kisses my forehead and leaves closing the door behind.
I cannot even process what is going on right now. I just take off my dirty clothes and enter in the tube. The warm water feels nice against my cold skin.
i let myself relax and the dirt being washes off my body.
Then I dry my body and my hair, and braid it. I take a pick at the corridor to see if there is anyone here, and run to my bedroom. I get dressed with a pair of baggy jeans and a warm fuzzy sweater.
I go downstairs and see Peeta sat in the sofa in the living room, probably waiting for me. I stop in the entrance and just stare at him intensily.
He sights and stands up.
"I just wanted to..." he stops thinking of something to say. He sights again. "I'm really sorry about her. From all the people she didn't desserve it."
He is talking about her, Prim. Always that I think of her I feel my heart shattering to pieces all over again. I start crying again.
"Go away" I say between sobs.
"Katniss please, don't push me away."
"What do you want?" I choke out.
"I..." Tears are threatning to leave os eyes. "I just think that it's always better having someone to you know..." I've never seen Peeta Mellark without words. He always had something to say, even when he was hijacked. This thought makes me cry even harder. "It's always better to have someone to cry with you, you know." he finally says.
I have to admit he is right. The worst thing that could happen is crying alone. When there is someone to share your tears with everything immediatly gets better. So I put my arms around Peeta's neck in an embrace. His arms immediatly lock around my waist. And I cry in his shoulder until I'm out of strengh and my knees buckle and i fall in the cold hard floor. Peeta sits with me and we both cry cuddled in each other. I know that Peeta is crying because I can feel his tears running down my back, since his face is nuzzled in my hair.
I guess that I found someone, just as damaged as me, to help me heal, just like I will heal him.
Cause that's what we do, protect eachother.