Everything She Wanted

19 Mighty bond for the Heart

"Of course we can." He answered a bit sadly while fiddling with my hand, this time he was looking at our interlaced fingers.

"You'll leave a week from now." I whispered, realizing na ang lapit nya na palang umalis. Napaupo ako bigla, and held my fingers against my lips. Oh no, I have to stock up on Mighty Bond already para sa puso ko.

"It's still seven days from now. Stop worrying. It's not like we're breaking up, Cara, come on. We can do this. Have faith." He pulled my hand from my mouth and kissed it. He was so confident about this nahiya naman ako sa doubts ko.

"I'm not saying you should not be sad because lord knows I get miserable just thinking of the time away from you and how difficult it will be because I can't just drive to Valle. And we have a thirteen hour time difference. But if we're willing to work on that, we will be able to pull this off." he pulled me to his chest and kissed the top of my head. "I really want this to work, Cara. I want us to work."

"I want that, too. It's just that the fear of the unknown scares me, all the 'what ifs'."

"What 'what if' are you so afraid of? Maybe I can help."

"Wag na. I'm just being silly and pessimistic." I felt small talking to him about my fears. He seemed so sure that we will be just fine na dapat hindi na rin ako matakot.

"Come on. Tell me" he prodded. He pushed me back to my seat and stared at me until bumigay ako.

"What if we'll become so busy with our lives, like you and your studies, and me and residency. You know how it is pag residente, I'm at the hospital almost 24/7."

He turned his body towards me and took my nervous hand.

"That's what we're expecting, that's not a 'what if'. That's a when. It will happen. And when it does, we'll have to compromise and set a time that's workable for both of us. Cara, we don't have to see each other daily if hindi kaya ng schedule. I won't feel bad if we can't video call each other and sleep thru the call til morning. I have accepted that that's not possible because we live in different time zones." he chuckled.

"Just don't neglect me. A simple text, Viber, or email would be enough for me. I'm not high-maintenance, love. Don't forget about me or push me away." He looked at me pagkatapos niyang magsalita with so much honesty and gentleness.

He really did not ask for much. In fact, he was so understanding sa situation ko. He knew what it would be like for me once magre-residency na ako. My dad had given him an overview of what a surgical resident's life is like, especially during the first two years: non-existent. He said it would be okay kasi nga hindi naman sya nagdedemand that we spend every waking moment together. He would be busy as well and he did not want any undue pressure on me or from me.

"Ano pa?" he asked me again.

"What if you won't come back for a long time?"

"You know it's going to be difficult to say how often I can fly back home. I can't promise na after each semester I'll be back. But I promise to try. In fact, I promise to try to be home as often as I can, kahit in between sems, if possible. Okay?" he smiled as he comforted me. He was still holding my hand and he was caressing it with his thumb.