Unforgotten Memories

Chapter-36

"Rosie? You're gonna break rules?" Jessica asks with amusement, to which I respond with a weak shrug.

"See? Do it for your best friend. Now be a doll and let me take this tent for tonight."

"Ugh fine. But you owe me one." With that being said, she takes off which leaves Jackson in a state of bliss. Before he could get in, I stop him and say,

"I need to pee first, would you walk me till the toilet block?"

The forest gets spooky at night.

"Rose, I said I'm sorry like a thousand times! Do you want me to fall onto your feet now?"

"I had been telling you since this morning, Jackson. This is the last day that I'm ovulating, if we don't do it today then I'll have to wait for a whole month to conceive again." I scream with my tear-filled eyes. In any normal situation, I wouldn't be crying over this. But right now, I'm desperate than ever and I would go to any lengths to get pregnant again.

"I HAD WORK. I tried my best to leave early but I just couldn't. If you haven't noticed by now, Clifton is out of town and the whole shop is on my head. I can't take breaks and keep closing the shop just so that I can come home and fuck you."

I take a step back at his bluntness.

"If you had stopped thinking about yourself for once, then you could've understood my situation. I have got responsibilities, Rosie.  I have better jobs to do other than getting you fucking pregnant."

"Wow Jackson! You're saying this as if I'm doing it just so that I can satisfy my sexual needs. Well, you're wrong! I'm doing this for us. So that we can have a baby-"

"No. This is all you. You're doing all this so that you can have a baby. I was never even there in the picture." I look at him discombobulated as if he just threw a bucket of ice-cold water on me. His tone being unusually distant and cold.

"W-What do you mean? You don't want to have a baby with me?"

"That's not what I meant. I'm just saying that you thought it'd be a good idea for you to get pregnant. You didn't think of knowing what I wanted."

"Isn't that what you wanted? Jackson, we just lost a baby! Wouldn't you do anything to get me pregnant again?" I tear up. This just makes me feel that Jackson had taken up the responsibility of being a father not because he wanted to, but because he had to. If he was given a choice, he would take a step back. Even if it is after losing a baby. He walks towards me in two long strides,

"Just because we lost a baby, doesn't always mean that we have to be ready for another one right away." With that being said, he stormed off, leaving me hanging.

Was it wrong from my side that I didn't ask for his opinion?

I just thought that he would be naturally ready for another child because he seemed to be very connected with Leo. It made me feel that he has finally accepted fatherhood. But I was so wrong. How did I not see this coming? Unless and until it's an accident, Jackson would never want to have a child that was planned. After all that this relationship has been through, we're still back to square one. I come out of my trance when I hear the front door close with a bang.

"Oh no, you're not going away this easy," I mumble as I run towards the door. I open it in one swing and catch up to Jackson who was about to get into his car.

"Stop right there." I yell as I hold him by the crook of his arm, stopping him from entering.

"What is it, Rose?" He asks through gritted teeth. I continue looking into his eyes, hoping to see the warmth that I have grown familiar with. But no. There's absolutely nothing in those eyes. Nothing but vulnerability and reclusiveness. The same eyes that I saw two years ago when he stepped into Fairfield, from the military.

"Jackson," I whisper as I hold his face in my hands. He lowers his eyes and tries to pull away but I hold a tight grip on his face as if my life depended on it.

"Look at me, Jackson," I say sternly. To say that I was shocked, would be an understatement. I have never used such a tone with Jackson. It was always him talking to me like that. His alpha male mannerisms would pop out of nowhere whenever I defied him. But now, I feel like I was the one in control. And he wasn't. With my one word, he looks straight into my eyes with unshed tears. This time, it wasn't the brave military man's pain in those eyes, but the broken, unfixed lad I hopelessly fell in love with, 10 years ago.

"I gotta go." He croaks out before getting into the car and speeding off. I stand in the same spot for minutes, trying to decipher what just happened. Was I so lost in my own sorrows that I didn't realise what was happening with Jackson each passing day?

"Hey Rose what's up?" I hear Clifton groggily answer my phone.

"Heyy. I am really sorry to call you at this hour, but I know that Jackson has gotten pretty close to you, so I just wanted to know if you guys spoke anytime this day." I ask as I bite my nail.

"Uhm we did speak to each other at work if that's what you mean."

"No I mean- wait what?! You spoke to him at work today?"

"Yeah......is there a problem?"

"Aren't you out of town?"

"Me? Out of town? Not in my knowledge." He laughs.

"Then why does Jackson come home so late?" I mumble.

"Oh.....Uhm actually we have a lot of work in the shop. S-So it's keeping him here for longer. But I'll try to send-"

"Are you lying to me, Clifton?" I narrow my eyes. I've never heard Clifton stutter so much.

"What? No no-"

"Clifton."

"Fine. He's been getting off of work earlier than ever. But if he doesn't go home then I don't know where he goes......." the rest of the sentence gets fuzzy as I cannot wrap my head on the fact that Jackson lied to me. If he is getting off of work this early but doesn't return home until midnight, then where does he go?

I hang up and mosey towards the room. As I place the phone on the dressing table, I get a glimpse of myself before the mirror.

No wonder Jackson doesn't wanna come home early.

Coming home to an ugly, fat, emotional baggage is a nightmare. Is he now........falling out of love?