So Gone (Ed Sheeran)

This song's for you.

"Come on, get out your room! It's been two days..."

   My head laying on the door, I wondered what I could have possibly done. It must have been my fault.

"You can't lock yourself up forever, Flora. And people wonder why their coffees are so tasteless." I began, trying to make her understand that this wasn't reasonable. But who was I to judge? If I could just fall off the map for a while, I would do it. "Just tell me what's wrong..."

   I heard things moving on the other side of the door and held my breath. However, the door remained closed.

"Leave me alone." She whispered. It was the first thing she had said to me in two days. And the worst part was how I could feel the sadness and hopelessness in her voice but couldn't do anything about it. I wasn't able to help her.

Useless.

   Flora had been there for me when I needed it, and now I couldn't return the favour. I couldn't do anything.

"Please, just let me in..." I breathed out.

   I knew for a fact that physical contact helped people, it gave this feeling of security and attention we all needed sometimes. Unfortunately, the only physical contact I had was with the wooden door, and it didn't help neither the door nor I.

   I lightly knocked again. I refused to just give up like I had the day before. After a few minutes, I had built up a rhythm and was cursing at myself. That was, until the door was unlocked.

   I stood up abruptly, gently opening it to reveal Flora sitting crossed legs on her bed, shaking her head. I walked up to her and sat beside her. There was this thing that always seemed to attract me, I always caught myself wanting to be closer to her. And I knew that right now wasn't the moment to fight against myself again.

   I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her down with me. She was trembling and I could tell she was fighting not to sob too hard.

"It's going to be alright." I whispered. "Just let it out."

   Flora laid her head on my chest and my fingers began to play with her hair. It was the kind of touch I was craving, something innocent yet full of meaning.

"She always used to do this when I was upset..." She let out, her voice giving out her sadness. And then the reason Flora was so depressed hit me just before she told me. "It's been two years."

   I breathed deeply and tangled my hand in her hair. "She would be proud of you." I said. And I really meant it.

   Some people said that a boy needed a father to grow up and become a responsible man. The same people also said girls needed their mothers. And I agreed with them. I wasn't saying that a child growing without one of his parents was going to turn bad, but it just increased the chances it could happen, whether the bad part concerned the child's emotions or behaviours.

   Despite everything, Flora was an amazing woman who cared about a lot of people and whose sympathy would most likely be her death. I was a living proof of her gift which could also be a curse.

"You don't have to stay here, Ed. I'll be fine, I'll get over it." Flora whispered.

"I want to."

    We didn't have any affectionate moment after that one time I wanted to leave. I'd thought about it a lot and came to the conclusion that we were both on the edge and that it didn't mean anything. Flora could find way better than me, she deserved better than me.

   Sometimes, she would talk and laugh with a regular customer named Ryan. I would at first get pissed off until I realised that, perhaps he was what she deserved. Maybe he could be the one to give her what I couldn't: stability.