Metanoia | J.JK

chapter twenty eight

Jisung was excited to wait the next morning to eat them, alone because he was on a diet. Taehyung was nowhere to be seen and the others always doing something in their rooms or outside of the house. We really didn't talked like before.

Putting my earphones on, I leaned back on the counter and placed both of my hands on my knees. It took longer than I expected. Everything was ready, the song, the candles, the timer.

It felt like a eternity. Those fucking cupcakes are making me mad, I just don't know why. I guess I'm tired of being alone with only my thoughts and myself. I feel so much lonely when it's my birthday.

Yoona and dad didn't text me, only to wire the money, which I always do. Can't he type once a nice word? I don't even know what I did. My only friend, my sister, went with my dad.

What a life I have.

Staring at the unknown, I forgot the beeping sound went off. I quickly open the oven and took the cupcakes out. They smelled so good. I took one out and placed it on a plate. The others went in the corner.

I started to decorate my lonely cupcake with my favourite colour, red. I gently pushed the candle inside and sat on the stool. I lit another candle so I could see what was I doing.

30 minutes to go. I could just sleep.

Placing my head on my arm, I stared longly at the chocolate cupcake. Before I could close my eyes and wait patiently, the front door opened.

My heart started pumping in fear. Who could come in such hour? I thought I'll be the only one awake at this time. Also, where the bodyguards at? They're supposed to guard the house.

The house was dark expect my face. The door closed and I couldn't see a thing. I heard footsteps coming towards me. He didn't took off his shoes. He placed something down and continued walking.

I squinted my eyes, holding the knife in my hand. I stand on the ground, holding myself up. Please don't scream, please don't let me scream like a idiot. Just please don't-

Then, I see his face. Jungkook's face. I sighed, dropping the knife down. I really must be insane to think about someone else.

I sat back down, looking at the time. 25 minutes to go. What the hell?

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I'm just hungry." I responded quickly, making him look at the other side.

He brushed his hair back, slowly pulling his tie off. He unbuttoned his shirt til his mid chest. Why does he have to be so tempting? I tried to not look at him and focus on me for once.

"It's your birthday?" He asked, going to the fridge to probably grab a bottle of beer.

"Aren't you tired?" He sat back on the stool, in front of me, taking the cap of the bottle with his teeth. I noticed the eye bags that he had under his eyes. The piercing on his eyebrow that always hid under his hair.

He took a sip of beer, before flexing his arms. "I'm never tired."

Lies. He's a liar too, not only me. Can't he leave me alone for once? That's what I requested before he left.

"It's my birthday too," He snickered. "What a coincidence."

"Why are you even talking to me?"

"Because we can't keep ignoring each other."

"Isn't it easy for you? You don't even talk most of the time or maybe you don't care about anything, specifically feelings."

"Look, I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did," I whispered, hiding my mouth with my hand. I could hear the clock ticking at each second passing by, I get more nervous unknowingly. "So much, you don't even know how."

Staring down at my thighs, I held back my tears preventing from falling. Why do I want to cry so much? I can't even understand my own feelings. I don't even want to look at him anymore. Can't he leave? Can't he see that I want to be alone?

"Can't you fucking understand that I want to be alone?! Can't you fucking understand what I'm been through?! Can't you think with your fucking mind what you did to me?!" I yelled at him. "I've never been in love, and I hate that it has to be you, a fucking hypocrite!"

I didn't realized that I was standing, staring down at him. His eyes widen in shock and pain. His lips was in a thin line, his chest going up and down.

Sitting back down, I massaged my temples soothingly. I glanced back to see the time and in my ears blasting the song of the joyful notes of happy birthday.

00:00

"Thank you for everything, you're such an amazing person."