Always And Forever

chapter 21

She tries, you could see that on her arm through the hearts she had strategically drawn over her scares. Was it love that she truly seeked or the feelings of being wanted? What if she wanted both? Even the bathroom floor was tired of seeing her cry

I was alone completely and utterly alone. I was silent and lonely, with no one to see so don't tell me I was wrong to take the hands of death, for I was alone and feeling sadness showed me kindness. 

I found out that my dad died a couple days ago. His death didn't really affect me I suppose but at least it felt good that I had a "parent" he never acted as a parent though. His death allowed me to be excused from school for two weeks. So I took advantage of those two weeks and went home. My family was actually very wealthy..

But what's the point of being so wealthy if you have no one to share it with?

A big ass house and there's only one person living under this roof

There was nothing that entertained me or that made me happy anymore because the one thing that did was now gone.

During those two weeks she didn't eat a single thing. The only thing that entered her system was water, she barely got out of bed and even though all she did was sleep she still had dark circles under her eyes

She makes herself as small as she can until her ribs crack and heels bleed out of fear that people will hate her if she does not give away all her space, eventually she became so small people no longer noticed she was there and her existence was lost into oblivion

Someone could say you're so different now

But she wasn't, the truth was that she accepted and evolved into who she was all along

Not friends, not enemies, just strangers with memories 

The two weeks passed and this way the day she was dreading. She didn't want people's pity. She didn't feel like she deserved it. She didn't feel like she deserved everything. Maybe if she didn't look at him maybe it wouldn't hurt as much she thought

The first day back I ignored everybody. I sent my friends a wave but besides that I didn't bother to open my mouth to speak. I didn’t have the energy to.
I didn't go down to breakfast, instead I went straight to charms.

I completely ignored him, I didn't glance up at him nor pay attention to him. Class ended and I made my way to music class which I also had with Draco

"Your assignment will be that you will be performing or recording a song and I advise you all do this because it's a big part of your grade" professor Flitwhick said

"You can work in pair or alone, it's up to you"

I let out a big sigh not knowing what song I was going to do

"DRACO" Pansy yelled

I put my shoulders on the table coloring on the table

"Do you want to duet with me Draco?"

"Erm yeah sure" Draco said with no expression and then I glanced over at her and she had the biggest smirk plastered on her lips and then she crashed her lips against Draco while staring at me

She knew exactly what she was doing

My lips parted and a small sigh left my lips and my eyes started to tear up but I turned my head before anyone could see me. I refuse for anyone to see me cry again.

"You guys can start working on your lyrics now" professor Flitwich said

"Uhm hey Rivers get the fuck up I'm working with Draco so sit somewhere else"

Fuck no

I turned my head to look her into her eyes. "If you wanna work with fucking Malfoy you can go sit somewhere else but this is my fucking seat so either pull up a chair, sit somewhere else, or shut the fuck up Pansy" 

I heard a gasp fall from her lips and a snicker fall from Draco's lip

Lyrics lyrics lyrics. I didn't know what to write about

I never should have called
'Cause I knew you would leave me
But I didn't think you could do it so easily
I never should have held your hand
On that cold rainy night
'Cause, further along, it would cause another fight

I would think of the lyrics later on and write them as they came to my mind 

Stranger, that's all I see
When I look into your eyes
A soulmate who wasn't meant to be

"Class is now over these are due in two days" 

TWO DAYS?

I didn't want to perform in front of the class so I preferred to record it and let him do whatever he wanted with the video

During the great hall I say with my friends but I still didn't talk

"Amara" Aurora said, I didn't wanna reply so I just nodded my head so she knew I was listening to her

"You have to eat"

I put my fork down and softly said

"I ate this morning I'm not hungry don't worry"

"Did you?"

"Mhm"

I felt Draco's gaze on me and I knew he could see past my bullshit but he didn't mutter a word to me

One of the worst feelings is when you feel lonely but surrounded by a lot of people
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I hope you like this chapter <3
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Sorry if there are any typos:(