Everything felt like a never ending cycle of the same bullshit. Nothing was ever new
I avoided Draco, I couldn't bare to look at him. After being in the astronomy tower I knew that in fact I was in love with Draco Malfoy
But I hated myself for being that stupid and falling in his trap. I wanted it to be over. For everything to be over.
I would get high to numb the pain and forget about everything
I separated myself from the group because I wanted to be alone all the time. I would sit as far away from them when we would go to the great hall. Charms came and I had to sit next to Draco but I said to myself...
You can do this just don't look at him and ignore him
I entered the class and Draco wasn't here yet so I let out a big sigh, relieved. The class started filling up and then Professor Snape entered the room
And so did Draco
I didn't want to show him that what he did affected me even though it did. It was killing me
I ball my hands into fist as Professor Snape calls on him to answer his questions
"Mr.Malfoy, what is veritaserum?"
"Erm..Veritaserum is a powerful truth serum. The potion effectively forces the drinker to answer any questions put to them truthfully sir"
"Very well"
I couldn't focus on what was happening during class because I kept zoning in and out so I just simply put my head down. I was high and the last thing I wanted to hear was fucking Snape
"Ms.Rivers, care to explain why you're sleeping in my class" I slightly picked my head up looking at Professor Snape
"Because this class is fucking boring and the last place I wanna be is here while I'm high" I got up picking up my books leaving his class
I don't know why I was rude but I just simply didn't care for others. Why should I? They never cared about me
I made my way to the astronomy tower just to smoke some more as I made my way to the balcony
"Why is it always fucking me who gets hurt, it's always me fucking up and doing dumb shit" I groaned as I said to myself
"Trying to kill your lungs are you eh? Draco said as he sat down next to me
"Mhm"
"Can we talk?"
"You're already fucking talking Malfoy"
"So we're on second name bases again Ame?"
"Mhm"
"Well you are, I'm not" he took the joint from between my lips to take a hit himself and then threw it out"
"HEY I was fucking using that" I said as I aggressively pushed him. Not strong enough though
"I don't care, drugs are bad for you"
"Mhm yeah that's why I do it, your gone and I gotta stay high all the time to keep you off my mind"
"Listen Ame I know what I did was fucked up but whatever happened between us wasn't meaningless. I care for you and I want you Ame" he said with a soft look on his face
"Yes of course was that before or after a you were dared to take my virginity and make me fall in love with you Draco" I stood up to look more intimidating but then he got up as well and he was way taller than me so my plan failed
"FUCK AMARA I'M SORRY THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO"
"I Hate you" I crossed my hands and looked down
"Fuck you Amara"
"UGH I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISHED DRACO BECAUSE GUESS WHAT I HATE YOU BUT YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU? BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU" his eyes meet mine shocked
"Am-" I cut him off
"No shut up Draco, fuck you"
I walked out of the astronomy tower walking to my dorm and passed out as soon as my body hit the bed. It was the last day before winter break which lasted 2 weeks
----Next morning---
"Hey Amara" Aurora said
"Hey" I put a pillow over my face because I loved the smell of it
"Erm we're all going to the Malfoy Manor for break"
These bitches were leaving me here ALONE. I took the pillow away from my face and sat up
"Okay have fun" I look at her with no expression on my face
"I'm sorry we're leaving you"
"Doesn't matter"
Blaise and Estella then walked in to say goodbye to me
I made my way to the great hall after they all left. I stopped in my tracked when I saw Tate in front of me
"Hey Amara"
"TATE AH" I ran to him giving him a hug and I wrapped my arms around his neck while Tate placed his hands on my back pulling me closer
"Wait how come you stayed?"
"I didn't want to go back to the Malfoy Manor and be near Draco it's a long story" I rolled my eyes
He swinged his arm around my shoulder "tell me all about it love"
*******
We made our way to the great hall and he sat beside me as I told him everything
"Well pansy dared him to make me fall in love with him and to take my virginity-"
"Holy shit that's fucked up",
"The worst part is he succeeded"
"Wait you guy's fuck-"
"NO- I mean he made me fall in love with him dumbass"
"Ohh"
"And I know he doesn't feel the same way about me that's why it hurts so much"
"Fuck Draco Amara there are plenty of guys who would love to be with you and Draco took it for granted" he grabbed my hand
"You have to show him what he's missing girl, I mean you can't let him see that it affected you even if it did. When he comes back you have to act like you don't care. Talk with other guys, flirt with other guys, Et cetera.
"Pft yeah like who" I put a spoon full of mashed potatoes in my mouth
"Use me"
"Tate I'm not going to use y-"
"I don't care Amara, honestly use me to make yourself feel better and to get over Draco"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes Amara"
"Okay just to be clear we aren't dating okay and just don't catch feelings"
He cupped my cheek and pushed strands of hair behind my ear "I already have but I don't want it to affect our relationship so it doesn't matter love"
"Are you 100 percent sure about this Tate"
"Ugh fuck I already said yes Amara now kiss me dumbass"
I giggled and I pressed my lips against his as he grabbed a fist full of my hair. It didn't feel like when Draco kissed me. Draco was better. It was always Draco
Always...
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Always And Forever
General Fiction"You said you'd never leave me" "You said forever"
