Unwittingly

Five

Somewhere with a Monarchy, 1835

Something happened to my feelings last night. I didn't know if it was the warm bath after the ball, or the constricting corset I was wearing all night, but they felt all squished and smeared and utterly confusing. 

I've never had a crush or romantic interactions with anyone in my entire life. Once, when I was three, a boy came up to me and gave me a flower. My mother thought I was destined to marry the prince, who was a year older than me, and so she crushed the flower after the boy went home. That's a lot to handle when you're three. But I got used to it. The dates or even walks in gardens were met with a hard "no" from my mother and a sympathetic smile from me.

One time, I had thought I had a crush, but it turned out to be nothing. He ended up being rude and callus, so I turned away and closed that door. After I turned sixteen, my mother locked down my life. If my social life was bad before she locked it down, it was nothing compared to after she closed me out from the world. No more best friends. No more friends. No boys besides my father.

No one besides the royal family and my family. Period.

It was a depressing thing, but I had to learn to live with it, and I did. So when Prince Damien looked at me with those sparkling blue eyes of his, I felt something I hadn't felt since I was allowed in public. I couldn't think of the word, but the feeling was soft and fluttery and warm. 

"Miss," Tyra called through the door, "you need to get out in five minutes, so we can get you ready for bed. I don't want you to get in trouble for not making curfew on your first night."

I sighed, "Thank you, Tyra, I'll be out in a second."

I opened the drain and stepped out of the tub. After I towelled off and slipped on the floral dressing gown Tyra had set out for me, I looked at myself in the mirror. Even without the makeup and the oils from the bath, I was glowing. With the leftover happiness and exertion showing on my cheeks, for the first time I didn't feel like I needed makeup. 

I remembered what Damien had proposed and how quickly I accepted. Could I really pretend to be in love? I mean, I barely kept my cover tonight when I was talking to Rosalie. I honestly didn't know if I would even get to met any of the other men if I was going to pretend to be in love with Damien. The only way to really sell being in love was to be inseparable. And I wasn't in love with Damien, and I really did want to find my true love at this celebration.

Again, I sighed and brushed a stay strand of hair out of my face, and walked out of the bathroom.

Tyra let me dress myself for the night, leaving me with instructions to sleep with as little light as possible and to keep my silk sleeping mask over my eyes at all times. She said it was mandatory if I wanted to look good tomorrow, and for some odd reason, I wanted to look good tomorrow.

So I went on with the plan. I slipped into the nightgown, brushed the cascading waves of my dark hair, and when I was settled into the giant bed, I slipped the sleeping mask over my eyes.

And that might have been the best night of sleep I've had in awhile. 

~o0o~

"Miss!" I heard Leta trying to wake me from my glorious slumber. "Miss, today is the first dating day! You must get up! I heard the women gossiping that the prince was going to be the man to take you out today! Oh, it's simply exciting!"

I groaned and rolled over, feeling the soft pressure of the sleep mask lift off of my eyes, and the soft morning light from the window invaded my sleepy eyes. 

"Sorry, Leta, I'm exhausted," I told her, slowly rolling out of the extremely comfortable bed.

"Understandable," was all she said as she went to the closet and started going through the dresses.