perception ⸝⸝ aot

22

Levi ordered us to look around grumpily and so I started to look through the books, skimming my fingers over the old things. I check the drawers on the desk that I recall Grisha showing me at some point after he got me out of the Underground. Old papers, pens and ink vials were littered in them and it seemed like everything remained untouched since when I was last here. 

This is where he brought me, I realized. "It's here," I say, bending down at the side of the table and skimming my hand over the dull wood until my fingers land on a keyhole. "He showed me this when he brought me here." I say quietly. Eren crouches down beside me, inserting the key into the hole, it fits perfectly. 

He turns it and a soft click sounds. I gently push the surface inwards and it clicks again, popping out. I carefully pull the drawer open but it's empty. "It's a false bottom," Levi clicks his tongue, removing the wooden bottom of the drawer. Inside lay three thick books and a small diary with small white towels and the smell of peppermint instantly hits me. Grisha usually smelled like peppermint.

"I wonder what it was my dad wanted to show me," Eren says quietly, skimming his fingers over one of the books. His hands begin to shake and before I can comfort him, Mikasa covers Eren's hand with her own and they open it together. A scowl forms on my face as a snake of jealousy entwines around my heart and I force myself to look away from the pair. It's obvious Mikasa doesn't see Eren as a step-sibling.

 On the first page was a painting of a family, no, it was too clear and detailed to be a painting. I put my fingers on the delicately taped paper. It's Grisha, a woman and a baby. I'm assuming it's not Eren and his mother, judging by the confused look on Eren's face and the other-worldly clothes and items in the picture. 

I pick up the small brown leather-bound diary. I flipped it over, finding my family's symbol embossed into it. I open the notebook to the first page and my names written in neat, cursive letters. "Is it yours?" Levi's breath hits my ears as his coarse voice emits way too close to me, making me jump. 

"It's not," I say, flipping to the first page and leaning away from Levi a bit. The first page has foreign letters on it, followed by an elegant equal sign and English letters and numerals. I inhale sharply, its a notebook that translates those weird writings in the book Erwin had found at my home. 

I flip through some more pages as the others examine the portrait carefully. Apparently, Hanji hadn't known about it. Erwin really didn't tell anyone besides Levi, and even that when I was comfortable with it. He really was a sweetheart. 

The other pages had cute notes written on it, motivational notes. Drawings and theories. All kinds of things. It seemed like a normal journal one would keep. Is this what he wanted to give me? 

I flip to a bookmarked page. As soon as my fingers grazed the paper, I was shot into a whirlwind of voices and scenes and memories. Except, these aren't mine. Whose are they?

Sasha, someone yelled. Sasha please wake up! Sasha! A dead body dressed in an unfamiliar black and silver uniform laying before me in a pool of blood, chestnut brown hair sprawled about her face.

A little boy, Dad! He cries, hunched over a bloody dead body.

A blonde woman with a boy cut, staring me down with her icy glare.

A mix of faces flash and I can make out Jean, Levi, Eren and Armin. Except they look way more different. It's them, though, I know for sure. Two more unfamiliar ones flash before me and then I'm back in Grisha's cellar.

I look around me, but no one seems to be paying attention. They're focused on the books. My body trembles as I look down at the neat handwriting and read it to myself.