LOVE SCARS || Daryl Dixon

XXXXI

ISABELLÁ

WHORE.
That word broke me. That word was my weak spot. And it was now stuck with me forever, branded to my own skin.
And now they knew. They all knew.

Emotionless, I sat by the fire. It's warmth touching me but not filling me. Everything I fought came rushing back at once. But now it didn't hurt, I was just empty.

"Belle" a voice said from beside me.
I didn't want to talk.

"Belle. I'm sorry"
I ignored the voice, looking over to my bandaged arm. I hated it. I hated it so much.
Part of me wanted to carve it out of my arm and get it gone.
A hand gently wrapped around my arm, their thumb rubbing carefully over my bandage.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made ya show me when ya wasn't ready"

I looked up, my eyes meeting Daryl's icy blue ones. "I'm sorry they hurt ya. Sorry that I weren't there to protect ya"

"I hate it" I mumbled.

"I know Belle" he said putting his hand on my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. "Ya shouldn't. Ya scars don't define who you are... you're beautiful. Ya always will be no matter how many scars you have"

I knew I could trust what he was saying. I knew he had the same struggle that I did, except he had hated his scars for years longer than me and for multiple different reasons.
I knew I would never love them. I just need to learn to accept that they weren't going anywhere. I could deal with the scars on my back, I got them trying to protect my group. But the once on my arm. That had no positive connotations.

"I thought ya were bit. I thought I was gonna lose ya again" Daryl explained, his voice quiet and hurt "I didn't mean to upset ya or force ya to show me when ya weren't ready"
I didn't know how to respond. He wanted forgiveness, and I guess I did forgive him. I believe that he was scared of losing me, I just didn't like the outcome of the situation that he caused.

I moved my face closer pressing my lips into his. He returned the kiss for a brief second before we were interrupted.
"You guys are so gross" Carl said.
I broke my kiss turning to face him. He was stood a few metres away pulling a face of disgust.
No matter how shit I felt, I knew Carl or Daryl could always put a smile on my face.

"You're gross" I teased before pulling my tongue out at him. Carl laughed a little while rolling his eyes and walking back to his dad.

I turned back to Daryl giving him a soft smile.
"I'm here. When ya ready to talk" Daryl said reassuring me.
"I know" I said giving him a small smile.

•~•~•~•

The leaves crunched under our feet as we walked down the train tracks.
A few days ago, Rick, Carl and Michonne saw a map leading to some place called Terminus.

'Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive, survive. Terminus.'

It sounded corny and gross. Two things I don't like to associate with. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We weren't exactly going for community I guess, we were going to see if any of our group had decided to go there too - it was hope I guess...