To Show a Blind Person the Sight of the World Without Using Your Voice

Chapter 9: The Strong Sound of the Sea at Sunrise

Makoto Tachibana

Time ticks away slow when you're bored.

It's Haruka's third day at my house, and even though I like his presence, we woke up without having a damn clue what to do today. It's Monday so Ren and Ran are at school, so we can't play any games with them and with only the two of us it's kind of pointless.

I have some homework I have to make later today, but right now Haruka and I are just both draped onto my bedroom floor like carpets. We have no idea what we can or should be doing.

"What do you normally do on Monday morning?" I ask, because Haruka earlier explained to me that he sometimes has homeschooling, but he doesn't have them every day.

Haruka rolls into another laying prostitution and not long after he slides a piece of paper towards me.

He tells me that he likes to go out for a jog, and nicely adds "but I get it if you'd rather go for a walk instead" after that. It makes it sound like I never in my life go out for a jog, which is a fact, but still.

"We can go for a walk," I say. "I like taking walks."

I sit upright and stretch my shoulders before adding, "Maybe we can even take a little run along the beach, at least, if you feel like jogging." I say it in a rather daring tone, like I want him to get hyped about taking a run with someone as un-agile as me. While in reality, I don't feel like running.

I do actually like taking walks, so that is no problem with me.

We go downstairs and I ask Haruka to write my mom a note that we're out for a walk while I get my cane out for the first time in days. I don't like using it, because people can literally see my disability when I'm swinging the white cane around, and I don't need it at home of course.

I meet Haruka back in the hallway when I'm putting on my coat. It's real autumn weather, I find out when we get outside and a flying leaf almost immediately gets tangled up in my hair.

"Wow, look out for leafs!" I chuckle, plucking the leaf from my hair. "They're out of control!"

I immediately notice it's harder to communicate with Haruka when we're outside. It's like I'm on my own, even when I hear Haruka's footsteps right beside me.

I listen to the sounds around me as we walk through town; I hear people talking, Haruka's footsteps and breathing, I hear birds and the wind makes the leafs rattle softly.

It's so calming, to listen to all those sounds. And it's so nice to know someone's walking beside me, hearing all those sounds too.

I soon start thinking about how Haruka's feeling right now. If he's enjoying my presence just as much as I'm liking his; probably not, because I blab too much and if I don't we're awkwardly silent.

But I like to think he does like our little walk.

"I really like this walk," I say when we've just gone down a fleet of stairs. "There aren't many people in town today, that's really nice."

I don't like crowded places, they're always so loud. It's hard to function around so many people.

So I'm actually very glad that today is such a calm day; maybe it's because it's pretty cold outside or because the wind is so hard, but I'm glad the circumstances are like this.

As we get closer to the sea, I get all sorts of feelings in my chest. There's happiness, still, because I'm with Haruka. But I'm also a little sad since after my first appointment with my therapist, Miss Asato told me I had to go out for walks more often.

I used to go out for strolls along the beach every single evening; I'd listen to the birds softly singing in the distance, and I'd inhale the salty air while listening to the strong sounds the sea made when sending its waves across the beach.

I used to feel so lonely whenever I heard couples laughing when they went out for their nice evening walk with a dog. Sometimes I'd hear them saying things like "I love you" in between their chuckles and I wondered how it would be to look into someone's eyes and say that to the person you love.

Not that someone will ever love me, but I liked to imagine it.

And it made me feel so very lonely, so sad, and eventually I stopped taking my daily walks along the beach because the sounds of the beach at dusk made me feel so miserable.

But it isn't evening; we're walking with the strong sound of the sea at sunrise, Haruka reminds me by grabbing my hand and pulling me forward. I can barely keep up with him, he's quick on his feet.

He keeps holding onto my hand tightly until I'm running through the sand at the same pace as he is.

And now that I'm the one giggling while running over the beach with someone right beside me, I suddenly don't feel that lonely sadness anymore.

And I don't feel alone when we sit down on the little stairs that you have close to the beach, and we're both gasping for air. I don't feel miserable when Haruka takes the other earpiece so we can listen to music as we eat some cheap sandwich we bought at a stand.

I take a bite of my sandwich and even though it's actually pretty bland, I like the taste of it more than I would've had at any other time; maybe it's because I just used up all my energy with running.

We listen to music together, taking turns at choosing songs, and for the first time in my life I feel like the lyrics of the songs aren't pessimistic. Even the calmer and sadder songs I usually cry to, they seem so cheerful when I'm sitting beside Haruka. And I wonder if he feels that too.

Probably not, but I still feel so cheerful deep inside as we have to be real close to each other because we want to keep listening to the music as we take the long route home. And when sometimes I feel his hand stroke past mine just a little bit, I wish he could just leave it like that a little longer.

Never in my life have I had so much fun with someone around my age. Hell, I have never had this much fun to begin with; I've always felt a little different, and alone, but not with Haruka.

And even though my chest hurts a lot from being out of breathe, by the time we get home, I still feel so happy about today. I feel like I found a real friend, one that might enjoy my presence too. Maybe.

"We're back!" I shout when I open the door, but there's no reply like I usually would get.

Worry shoots through my body, because I'm scared the universe can't even grant me one good day; mom should've been home by now, but what if something happened on her way back home.

"I'm going to take a look in the kitchen, see if mom's home," I tell Haruka, my heartbeat can be felt in my throat. "I'll be back in second, okay?"

I walk past the living room and to the kitchen, where would normally be working on lunch by now. She isn't there, but fortunately I hear her talking to someone in the distance.

Sounds like it's coming from outside, since it's so muffled.

"Mom, are you out there?" I ask after sliding open the door to our backyard.

I hear mom much louder and more clearly now, but she doesn't reply to me. She must be on the phone, because I barely hear the voice of the person she's talking to; yet, why is she calling outside.

I decide it must be someone she wants to speak to in privacy and get ready to close the door, just when a sentence causes my heart to stop beating for a second. Maybe two.

"Oh, yeah sure. Haruka probably won't mind if you drop by to talk to him tonight."

I realize, at that moment, that the universe doesn't grant me many more moments with Haruka after all; and I had such a good hope Haruka could stay with us for so much longer.