The Space Between Failing and Falling • Snarry •

Chapter 13: Craving and Consolidation

"My mind isn't a very nice place, sometimes," Harry says.

"I know. I've been before." He cards his fingers through Harry's hair. "And when I saw it back then...I apologise for doing nothing. To help you."

"No more cupboards—"

"No more cupboards." Severus presses his lips to Harry's lightning bolt. "No more."

****

Later that evening, he takes Harry home and puts him to bed.

If anything, Harry at twenty-one is more vulnerable than Harry at fifteen. "I will protect you with my life," Severus tells him.

"Stay." Harry pulls Severus down on top of him. "Stay."

Severus can't resist. It's hopeless.

He wants Harry to feel better, happier, he wants to help. So he kisses Harry, and is prepared to do almost anything he asks.

Again, Harry rolls up Severus's sleeve to run his nose down the awful tattoo. "Send me a message," Harry requests. "Remind me I'm yours. And what's in my mind isn't...real any more."

Somehow, Severus is now straddling Harry, who is dressed only his boxers, and he holds out Harry's arm in front of his face so he can see the words appear:

You are safe. Know that I love you.

"Oh." Harry smiles. Severus has made another man smile, and it's wonderful. "That's a good one. Thank you. Will you be with me tonight, in my dreams?"

Seeing Severus's expression, Harry frowns and asks, "What is it?" Severus is reluctant to explain, but that boy always steamrollers straight through his boundaries. "Tell me."

When Severus starts to pops his finger joints, Harry takes his hands and kisses them.

"Sometimes, in our dreams, it seems as though...I am an unwelcome voyeur into a world that belongs to somebody else."

Harry props himself up on his elbows. "Is that how you feel?"

This seems to be some kind of trick question, so he doesn't respond.

"What was it like, to think you didn't have a soulmate, when you hoped to have one?" Harry asks.

"I soon got used to it. But at first, it was like angels in heaven were playing a game." Severus snorts and stares unseeingly at the hairs on Harry's chest. "And when they arrived at my turn, they forgot about me."

Harry looks dismayed, so Severus grasps his shoulders and says, "I assure you, I do not feel short-changed. In the slightest."

"But, you were alone—"

"Through my own volition, I shunned others. Remember, I was not guaranteed a soulmate. Few bloodlines have them. And since you elbowed your way into my private life, I am trying not to continue in such a singular manner." It's the truth, but solitude is a hard habit to break.

It doesn't seem like Harry has an answer to this. His green gaze is intense. Then, Harry draws him down, cautiously, deliberately, so that Severus is fully on top of him, dark hair curtaining Harry. The warm body beneath him is so very tempting, that he cannot stop pressing their mouths firmly together over and over again.

Harry rolls them over to pin Severus to the bed. Their kisses become frantic and heated, and one of them groans when Harry grinds their erections together. That Severus has made another man hard shouldn't come as a revelation, but it is, it is, it is wonderful.

He catches Harry's hand in his, to stop him taking off Severus's robes.

Harry places his hands on either side of Severus's head. "You don't want to sleep with me," Harry states. Severus keeps his face blank. "Why? Is it...me? Or some other problem?"