Dead Man Walking | Rick Grimes

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"As tempting as that sounds, I helped make the decision... I should be there." I nodded at him, trying to convince myself more than him. Daryl reached out, putting a hand on my shoulder before taking a hint and walking away. It's best to be alone, collect my thoughts, and mentally prepare for tonight. I'm so happy that Dixon knows me well enough to know when I need my space. I watched as he walked away, his crossbow slung across his shoulders lazily, before I turned around and leaned against the fence, my elbows supporting me. I stood absentmindedly, staring into the distance as I thought about my decision.

I didn't think twice back at the bar before pulling the trigger; it just happened. But now that I have the opportunity to make a decision and think about it, it's weighing heavy on my mind. I agree that we can't let him go, but we can't keep him here either. What if he attacks one of us when we start letting our guard down? That's what I would do. I would gain their trust, and when they least expected it, I would strike and make my escape. But what if he stays and proves to be a valuable group member? What if he genuinely has no intentions of hurting us? I hung my head and took a deep breath, hating that I was torn over this.

The answer is simple; we kill him. It's either him or us. I shot my head back up and nodded at myself, finally coming to terms with my decision and accepting the truth of it all. There's no room for second-guessing. I have to stay strong-willed and be final in my decisions. I know the person with the biggest problem with all of this is Dale, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's out there trying to convince people to keep this kid alive. I don't know if his fighting so adamantly for humanity is a good thing – people won't think twice about ending him, so why should he fight for their lives? I guess the human part in him, the good part, remains untouched despite the world's unyielding cruelty.

"Dale's trying to get a group to speak against the execution." I laughed and turned my head, knowing it was a matter of time before I was given a status update. Is this man a mind reader or something? "Told him that whatever happens when we reconvene later today, happens." I nodded at Rick and lifted myself, standing straight.

"Yeah," I muttered, "Sounds like something Dale would do." Rick smiled, taking a few steps closer to me.

"You changing your mind?" He asked me as he studied me further. I guess it's that obvious that I'm unsure of myself.

"I was debating with myself, but I'm not changing my mind." I reassured him, "It's what needs to be done." Rick nodded at me and nudged me as he tried to get my mind off my uncertainty.

"One of these days, we should fight." Rick smiled at me, his teeth fully showing. I couldn't help but appreciate how he tried to lighten the mood, so I laughed, imagining Rick and I beating the shit out of each other. That might be fun, but I also don't want to hurt him.

"Ooh, I don't know." I laughed, "I don't want to beat you up and embarrass you, Grimes." Rick laughed at me, his closed fist lightly punching me in the shoulder as if trying to initiate a fight with me. I brushed him off and rolled my eyes, happy to get my mind off Randall for a second. Rick sighed and turned towards me fully, his blue eyes searching over my face as if they held the answers to whatever was plaguing him.

"Carl is acting out." He murmured as he scanned my face, "Disrespected Carol today." I scrunched my eyebrows and looked at the sky, trying to estimate the time. The answer was simple; he doesn't wanna be treated like a little kid anymore.

"I think he wants to start having a bigger role here in camp." I noted, "He's been anxious to prove himself since he got shot. There was also that incident with the gun."

"Lori doesn't want him growing up like this." I looked at Rick as he frowned, knowing that this environment was not ideal for a kid Carl's age. But there wasn't any other choice. The more days that pass reaffirm that no one is coming to save us from this world – we're stuck in it and have to learn to survive.