WHEN WE WERE YOUNG : marauders era

22. nightmares are horrible

Remus' POV

I run though the dark forest, panic rising in my chest. The full moon appears behind dark clouds and my body starts aching more than ever. I lose sight of everything as I feel my bones stretch beneath my skin, growing into a- A monster.

I see blood. Blood everywhere. I try to control myself but the beast within me does not listen. Scratching and biting myself, I feel pain all over my body.

It's too much.. I can't control myself. I'm going to die.. Someone please help. Help me.. please...

I wake up with a start, sweat rolling down my forehead. The first rays of the sun filters in from the curtains. I see the other three sleeping quite peacefully, snoring and murmuring in their sleep.

The same nightmare again. Why?
I let out a deep sigh as I massage my forehead, heart still racing from the nightmare. It would be the full moon next week and I'll have to go through it all over again. I'll have to lie to my friends about where I'll be going. I'm already starting to feel guilty about it.

Its for the best, I tell myself as I get out of bed.

Since I'm awake, I might as well do some reading.

I walk quietly out of the dormitory, careful not to wake them up as it's still way too early and I'd like some peace while reading, thank you very much.

I enter the Gryffindor common room with a book, absolutely sure about not finding anyone else at this hour. However, I see Ree sleeping on the couch near the fire with a shawl draped over herself. Looks like she ended up falling asleep here last night..

As I try to decide whether to wake her up or not, I hear her say something.

As I look at her curiously, I see her moving her head slightly and saying things under her breath. I notice a slight frown on her forehead and her hands shaking. Is she having a nightmare?

"No. Not mommy. Please not mommy. Stop it. Please.." she says and it sounds as though she's in pain.

I shake her shoulders, trying to wake her up, my own heart beating quickly.

What kind of nightmare is she having? Whatever it is, it doesn't sound good at all...

She looks around wildly, as she sits up, her hands shaking and her eyes looking watery. She doesn't seem to realize my presence as she tries to calm herself down.

"Stop. Please...Stop," she says softly, pulling her knees to her chest and covering her ears with her hands, tears rolling down her face. She looks completely terrified.

This is horrible. I know it's only been some days since I've known her, but I've never seen Ree like this. She has always been so easy to talk to. Always so happy and kind. She always made me feel like I belonged here even if I didn't. I never knew... did she have these nightmares all the time?

I wrap my arms around her, unable to think of any other way to comfort her, as she continues to murmur under her breath.

"You're going to be okay Ree," I say to her as she continues to cry silently on my shoulder. "You're okay now. It's just a nightmare."

"These screams. Make them stop. Please," she says softly between sobs, covering her ears more tightly.

I pat her head gently as I think of a way to make her feel better. If only I had some chocolate with me right now...

"It's okay Ree. I'm here. You're not alone anymore alright? Just take a deep breath," I tell her as I pull away. She breathes in and out slowly, still covering her ears and shaking all over.

What kind of screams is she hearing??

She continues to take deep breaths and soon her body starts relaxing a bit more. I slowly take both her hands away from her ears. She shuts her eyes as though afraid of hearing the screams again. I continue holding her hands as I look at her, hoping whatever she was hearing stops soon.

After a couple of minutes, she relaxes and lets out a deep sigh.

But as she opens her eyes, she looks at me with an alarmed expression, as though suddenly realizing I was there the whole time.

"Remus?" She asks, her voice barely audible.

"Good morning," I say with an awkward smile. Suddenly, I realize that I'm still holding her hand. I let go of it quickly and stare into the fire instead.
My face feels hot as I remember the hug.

It was just to comfort her. Why am I feeling so awkward all of a sudden?

"Are you alright?" I ask, trying to sound normal.

She nods her head silently, her knees still pulled close to her chest, staring into the fire too. I see her wiping the tears off her face from the corner of my eye. She looks embarrassed.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," she suddenly tells me, unable to look me in the eye. "You probably think I'm going mad, don't you?"

"Of course not," I reply truthfully, shaking my head.

She smiles softly and looks back at the fire.

Thankfully, she seems calmer now. But I can tell she's feeling awkward.

"About what you just saw.." She begins, still avoiding my eyes.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I answer quickly with a reassuring smile, knowing quite well that it's probably something private.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it," she replies as she finally looks at me. "It's not because I don't want to tell you...I guess I'm just...not ready to talk about it right now."

"I understand," I assured her, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder. "But if you ever need to talk, I'm here alright? And I'm sure James, Sirius and Peter will always be happy to help too."

"Thank you," she says with a bright smile that makes me feel warm inside. I want to know what's bothering her so much. I want to help her, be with her and comfort her. I want to be a good friend to her.

Does she deserve a friend like me though? A monster?

No. She deserves better. James, Sirius, Peter and Julie do too.

I just hope Ree would be alright. Maybe she would be able to talk about it after some time.