hating me for loving you {h.s}

Chapter 11.

I notice I'm still standing in the doorway after she opened it, admiring every piece, every inch, every curve, and every scar. She fake coughed, grabbing my attention as I finally walked through the door.

"You alright, curly?" She asked, immediately wrapping her arms around my neck, my hands attached to her hips. It was accidental, it was like my hands were magnetic, telling themselves to shift to her waist, no warning.

"Just admiring the most beautiful woman in the world... I'd say I'm perfectly fine." I whispered, planting a kiss to her forehead.

Her forehead is so close to her lips, I wish I could kiss those instead.

"I'd say you're pretty fuckin' insane to say that." She laughed at me, but my whole mood turned into sadness. I wish she could see how beautiful she is, I really do. I grabbed a hold of her face very lightly with my own palms, massaging her cheeks delicately with my cold and tender thumbs.

"Please, look at me..." I said sternly, only because right when she said that, she knew I'd have something to correct her on. So, she looked to the ground, but I prefer otherwise. "Please quit putting yourself down, please.." I tried to let the sob stay in my throat, but I failed, letting a few tears drop out of my eyes quickly. "I know it's easier said than done, I know. But, you're beautiful to me, and you'll never be anything less. It's okay to have insecurities and imperfections you don't like, everyone does. But calling yourself ugly, cause I know that's what you were doing, it's not okay.. at all." I asserted, getting my point across without her interruptions because I know she'll try and shit on my words, saying they're not true. But the thing is, they are.

"Okay." She said plainly, but not walking away. She's finally chosen to leave my words as they are, believing them for just a second.

"Okay." I added.

"Can I have a hug?" She asked, but that's the furthest thing from a question.

"What kind of question was that, of course, bug." I gave her the nickname which I know is her all time favorite besides P, I only use it when I feel the moment needs it.

I know it's downright silly, but that's just how it works in my crazy brain.

"I love that nickname... Makes me feel safe." She said muffled, nuzzling herself into my neck as she spoke out.

"I know... It's your all time favorite." I answered. "Okay.." I patted at her waist with my hands that cover all of it. "Wait here for a minute, I'll be back.." I left her with that as I headed to the bathroom, getting ready to relax her.

Heading into the master bathroom that's connected to my room, I gathered everything I needed for her.

First, I twisted the knob to a hot setting but not too hot, waiting till the tub raised with water to where I wanted it.

Next, I added in some lavender organic bath salt, it used to be my mothers, which she gave to me because she discovered that my new obsession is taking relaxing, calm baths.

After that, I grabbed P's personal candles that she had in her basket, setting 3 off with the lighter that was tucked into the side of the basket. All organic, I know the smell can sometimes give her a headache, so I lit a lavender once, rose, and a light scented vanilla one.

Finally, I set a towel out for her body on the sink counter, a face mask, and a few eleastics in case she wanted to do something with her hair.

I walked out of the bathroom, back into my room where she sat on the bed, scrolling on her phone for what looked like the first time today.