hating me for loving you {h.s}

Chapter 9.

"Do you want me to stay on the phone?" He asked politely, making a smile appear on my face as he asked.

"I don't wanna be annoying.. You don't have to if-"

"So that's a yes, it's no problem with me, love. I'm just gonna put my phone on speaker, and put it in my bike basket, okay?" He spoke clearly, instructing me on what he was doing, which distracted me from the sharp object that I wanted to raise to my arm.

I don't know why I wanna do it, I don't actually. I just want a way out easily, this is all I could think of.

"K-keep telling me w-what you're d-doing..." I told him bluntly, not giving that as a yes or no because I know if he doesn't distract me with that charming accent, I won't be able to keep this thing away from my innocent but yet, harmed arm.

"I'm turning onto the street right next to yours, I'm only two minutes away. The trees are windy, but still beautiful in the cloudy scenery. The yellow paint of the road is chipped, but still as bright as it was when it was first painted here." He described to me, knowing I love scenery and the poetry of it all.

Why is he so perfect? Why do I have butterflies from his voice? Is something happening to me?

"I'm turning onto your street, pedaling as fast as I can without falling off, imagine that. Imagine me falling off of my bike, not too bad but enough to where it's laughable.

I don't scrape really anything except for the hands that stopped me from scraping anything else. I saved myself." He explained, which made me laugh until he said he saved himself.

I wanna save myself too.

"I'm in your driveway," I heard the wheels on his bike turn into my smooth driveway. "I'm getting off of my bike, putting the break out."

"The door is unlocked." I managed to say, not even a second later I hear him open the door through the phone and in my house.

"What room are you in, can you hear my steps?" He asked.

"Mhm, bathroom." I mumbled, hearing him inch closer and closer, till he eventually opened the door at the same time he hung up the phone.

"Oh, P..." His eyes already started to gloss over, him sitting across from me on the bathroom floor.

"I don't actually wanna do it, H. I don't... I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm so-"

"Pheebs... Can you look at me?" He asked, so I shook my head, looking up at him as he wiped his teary eyes, being strong for me.

He doesn't know how much he's helping me, and he always will. But I don't want this to mean I need to depend on him. I'm a big girl, I can be independent.

"Can I take this? I promise you'll be okay without it, it wants to be done with." He asked, which I immediately cried at how careful and caring he's being, it's absolutely weighing on my heart in the best way possible. "There you go... You've got this, you're almost there.." He praised me, softly smiling as I let go of the blade fully.

As soon as I let go of it, I brought my hands to my eyes, covering them as I started to heave, not being able to breathe because of how relieved I am that I didn't do anything stupid again.

  Harry brought his hand up to my face, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear, leading me to slowly take my hands on my eyes, revealing the redness and puffiness from how much I've cried today.

"Hey... you're okay, see?" He laughed a tiny bit as he showed me the blade, throwing it into the bathroom trash can, along with all the other trash. "That's all it is... It's just nasty trash, it doesn't want you." He now placed his hands on my knees, rubbing them with little traced circles.