2022 Watty Award Winner ✨
In which a blind girl and a disfigured army vet attempt to find love and belonging in a big bad world.
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Olivia Harris is blind, and that's just the way it is. Naviga...
for everyone who has ever felt lost, for everyone who's still searching
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epigraph:
"To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life."
— Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
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CHAPTER ONE | apologies
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SIX MONTHS AGO, Connor Wright was crushed beneath kilos of rubble and ash, lungs choked with soot, limbs mangled, blasted into nothingness.
Today, it all feels like a fractured but vivid dream. Sitting in a small, tattered chair in a room with jarring yellow lights and a stale antiseptic scent, across from another useless prescription-pad dressed in a white coat.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Same as last week, I guess."
The prescription-pad scribbles something down onto a scrap of paper.
The usual laundry-list of invasive questioning ensues. Sleep, mood, appetite. Pain on a scale from 1 to 10 before the drugs, how many tablets a day, how often?
Connor doesn't really have the energy to lie about it this time around. "Six or seven out of ten, maybe. Yesterday it was like, five pills."
The prescription-pad's forehead scrunches up with poorly-concealed unease.
"Based on your last physical, Connor, your injuries have healed up well." Eyes down towards the desk, avoiding Connor's face. "The pain you're experiencing is likely psychogenic. I'd like to propose a couple new options so we can start tapering you off the opioids. I'm concerned that they aren't doing their job effectively anymore."
Knee bouncing, a flash of irritation. He knew this was coming, he's been expecting it. "It isn't in my head. Can't you just give me more pills, Doc?"
The doctor, who has suddenly decided to morph into something more than just a prescription-pad, gives him a wry smile. "It isn't feasible in the long-term, Connor. Your system is already growing tolerant to the hydrocodone. We can try incorporating some alternate pain-management options, like massage or electrotherapy." He nods to himself, apparently pleased with this idea. "The Zoloft is fine, we won't worry about that. And while I know you said you didn't find it valuable last time, I would like you to consider seeing a mental-health professional again to help you cope with—"
