DC/Justice League Oneshots

Shots, Bets, and Pickles

A/N Written by @bekkoni.

"I bet you three," Batman said.

"I can do more than that!" Superman protested. "What do you think I am, thirteen?"

"A Kansas wuss."

"What do I get if I win?"

Batman thought for a moment.

"Reservations and a paid meal at that restaurant you've been wanting to take Lois too?"

"And if you win?"

"You have to stop bugging me about taking a break," Batman said. "For at least a month."

"Deal."

                1 1/2 Hours Later

Flash walked into the conference room and stopped dead in his tracks.

The scene in front of him was indescribable.

"What ARE you two doing?!"

Batman was sitting very calmly at the conference table with his mask off.

There was a bottle of vodka in front of him and two shot glasses.

Superman was rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. It looked like he had fallen out of his seat.

"One moment, Flash," Batman said, and looked down at Superman. "You lose."

Superman laughed harder.

Flash peered at Clark. "Did you get him drunk?"

"Yes," Bruce said, and poured himself another shot. "I'm actually quite intoxicated myself."

Flash stared for a moment. Then he activated his comlink. "Uh…Diana? Could you and GL get down to conference room one please?"

"Sure," Wonder Woman replied. "What for?"

"You had just better come see yourself."

"There's no need to humiliate Clark," Bruce said, and downed the alcohol.

"On second thought, go right ahead."

Diana and John burst through the doors.

"WALLY!"

"I didn't do it!" Flash squealed. "Bats did!"

GL looked down at Superman, who had now managed o calm himself to a chuckle. Bruce poured another shot.

"How much have you had?" Diana asked.

"Five," Bruce said, and shrugged. "He only had two and a half."

"Well, I think that's quite enough," Diana took the bottle and the glass.

"Isn't alcohol outlawed in the Watchtower?"

"What are you, my mother?" Bruce asked. "I paid for the tower; I can sure as hell get drunk in it if I wish. And as you can see, I am still functioning at a high capacity."

GL helped Superman to his feet.

"Clark, why don't you and I take a walk to your room, and you can have a rest."

"I'm…hehehe…I'm... haheeheeha!... fine," Superman said as he was led from the room.

"I win!" Batman called after him.

"Win what?" Diana asked. "Was this all part of some dumb bet?"

"Yeah..." Bruce shrugged again. "How many shots of vodka it took for one of us to get hysterical at the word 'pickles'. Whoever cracked up first lost."

"Superman shoulda known better," Flash said. "No offense, but you are the king of balloon poppers."

Batman checked his watch and pulled the mask back over his eyes. "I have to go patrolling in two hours," he said.

"So, if you'll excuse me, there's some work I have to get done."

He left the conference room.

"That guy is nuts," Flash said, as he walked out, too.

Diana cleared off the glasses and sat down to work on a mission report.

                                ×××

Half an hour later, she looked up quickly, picked up her things, and left too.

She walked down the dorm hallways, towards room C16. When she arrived she keyed in the password and the doors slid open.

There he was, asleep in a desk chair.

His cape and mask had been thrown on the bed, and there was a laptop sitting on his lap. She carefully took it and turned off the alarm he had set.

Then Diana pulled a blanket off the bed and laid it gently over him.

"Sweet dreams, Bruce," she whispered as she turned out the lights and left the room.

Comment, Like, and Follow :3
Words: 630