Back to you

Certitude

We used to be inseparable. My dad made plans for us to take over his empire oneday before we were even born, but Devon wouldn't shoot a gun, pick up a knife or even hit someone. He was the kid that wanted to stay in his room and read fiction novels. I was the the opposite, preferring to be rather adventurous, but we still got along. He kept me sane and I protected him. The qualities one of us lacked, the other made up for. We were like yin and yang. I trusted him completely, so he was the first one to know about my preference for girls.

He had to miss the first day of third grade because he was sick. This of course didn't sit well with me. I always felt off when he wasn't around, but I never let it show. When I got home I went up to his room and plopped down on the bed beside him.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I need to talk to you."

"Did something happen at school?"

I laughed nervously and scratched my head.

"Do you like someone?"

"What no! What's makes you think I like someone?" I panicked.

"Cause you're all nervous and- oh my god are you blushing?!"

My hands went to my cheeks and yep, they were warm.

"Sooooo, what's his name?" He poked my ribcage and wiggled his eyebrows. I squirmed and batted his hand away, then scolwled as he laughed.

I fiddled with my fingers. "Its not a him." I mumbled

"What? You gotta speak up."

I lifted my head and glanced around the room nervously. "It's uh, um, not uh, n-not a him." I said then dropped my head back down.

"Oh what's her name then?"

My head shot up and I brought my eyes to meet his. "You don't care? You don't think there's something wrong with me?" I asked amazed.

"Of course not. Now, c'mon, tell me about her." He said without missing a beat.

I took a deep breath and allowed my mind to drift away. "She's beautiful. She has curly dark brown hair with tan skin like ours. She has really pretty brown eyes. They're lighter than ours though and remind me of a reeses cup. I also like her smile. It makes me feel fluttery inside." I giggled. "Oh and she kissed me! It was on the cheek but it still counts."

"I've never seen you act like this. She must be special."

"She is." I smiled.

He ran away when we were eleven, just a year before dad was arrested. "Why?" I asked as we sat by the fireplace.

"It was all too much for me. The violence, the drugs. I just couldn't be around it. I knew if I stayed I would be brought into that world one way or another and I didn't want that life for myself."

"I didn't want that for myself either. I simply did what I did to make dad proud. Besides, I would have come with you, but you didn't ask."

"That would've meant leaving Selena and we both know that was never an option for you."

"You're right. I still wish you would've at least said goodbye. I spent the last ten years wondering if my twin brother was dead." I told him angrily.

"I don't want to fight."

"Me either." I sighed.

"Did you ever tell her how you feel?"

"She's my girlfriend... who I haven't spoken to in a year."

"What!?"

I told him everything. When dad was arrested, the first time I kissed Sel on the roof, our first date, meeting the boys, forming a band, becoming famous, getting kidnapped, escaping, Carter and Sadie, loosing my memory, remembering, getting kidnapped again and everything in between.

"First things first, I'm proud of you for getting your girl. Secondly, what are you going to do about Carney?"

"Kill him." I said bluntly. "He's a corrupt man with no morals who cost me a year of my life I can never get back."

"I'm not going to try and stop you. Just please be careful."

"Aren't I always?" I grinned.

. . .

I left at dawn the next morning. Me and Dev ate breakfast before as he explained to me how he survived all these years on his own. He stole as much money as he could fit in a duffle bag along with other necessities and began his journey across the country to the east coast. We both knew how to find the safe house in case of emergency, so he came here and basically raised himself. It was a pretty incredible story if I'm being honest.

"When this over, will you come home? Please? You don't have to hide up here forever ya know? There's a whole world of chances out there waiting for you."

"As long as you promise to come back here in one piece."

"Deal."

I found plenty of weapons and amo at the house, so I would be coming loaded. Joe would pay for everything he put me through. Of that I was certain.