Companions

Part 19: I Don't Want It

"I don't want it."

"You have to take it...please." She steps closer and he turns slightly away from her and looks at his shoes. Much like his heart, they were once shiny and brand new and made him feel so happy. But over time they have become scuffed and holey- leaving nothing inside- barely even a sole.

"It was a gift- Hermione. I made it for you and I won't take it back." Lips parting and chest rising, she feels those damn tears bubbling over her lower lids and Draco can't even look at her because of them.

"I...I can't keep it."

"Then throw it out." He snaps.

"I can't..."

"Why not? It was a stupid, silly gift. It's trash and I don't know why you even kept it all these years anyway."

"It's not stupid." Her sobs fill his apartment and he wishes she didn't come up here. "Just...just take it- please."

"Why? Why do you want to get rid of it so bad- but you won't throw it away? Hmm?" Finally, he turns and looks at her and it breaks him. She looks so beautiful in her red dress- her curled hair hanging loose below her shoulders and her golden brown orbs burning into his flesh. But those tears... those damn tears that always seem to crop up around him. He hates it.

"Because it reminds me of you and it makes me happy..." She finally says, her tears growing larger and staining her pale freckled face.

"Can't have that- now can we." He takes it from her forcibly and looks over the poorly painted, poorly sculpted snowmen holding hands: his lips twitch- his frustration and pain and sadness overflowing through him and without even thinking about it, he turns and whips it across the room at the white painted brick walls and it shatters into a million pieces. "There... now you don't need to worry about it making you happy or reminding you of me."

Drunk, upset, and now pissed off- she shoves him hard in the chest and screams.

"Why'd you do that!!!??? You fucking arsehole!!" Her tiny hands and small frame continue hitting and shoving him until he's pinned against the small wall between both living room windows.

"News flash Hermione! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ARSEHOLE! YOU'RE JUST TOO NAIVE TO THINK I'D BE ANYTHING DIFFERENT!!!!" He screams back in her face and allows her to continue to hit him. "KEEP HITTING ME HERMIONE!! IT COULDN'T HURT ME ANY WORSE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE!!"

She stops and looks at him. Her nose dripping and lips quivering. She's a pathetic mess and this fight is more than enough to sober her up.

"You think I wanted that fucking gift back? You think I wanted that bloody reminder that I was once inspired to let someone know I was more than just a scowl and a bad attitude. That someone unexpectedly made my heart grow and made me feel like I had someone to dream about at night instead of having fucking nightmares!?" He stays against the wall, though she turns from him and covers her nose and mouth- trying to calm down. "I don't know what you thought was going to happen here? What? Did you think if you gave me that- it would make up for everything else? Did you think we'd still be friends or...whatever the fuck we were years ago? Think it would hurt less watching you live your life madly in love with someone else. I don't want any of that Hermione Granger. I don't want a reminder of you! I don't want to know if you still care! I don't want to think about you or keep you in what shred of heart I have LEFT! You already ripped it from my chest and stomped on it! You already said all that needed to be said! You've killed me, Hermione. You've done me in. Years of thinking it'd be done by my hands and here it was always going to be yours: and somehow...I knew that."

She looks at him and once more he is that pale skinny boy from the astronomy tower- ready to jump.

"I knew from the very beginning you would only ever cause me pain and suffering through your kind and caring ways. There was never going to be a happy ending for us Hermione: you know why?" She doesn't answer or look away from him. "Because the villain doesn't get to live happily ever after...and I'm no hero- so we both know exactly how this ends. It's just pathetic that I ever believed it could be any different. That I could be any different...that I would get the opportunity to wake up next to a beautiful goddess and have a perfect life- where I'm loved, and wanted- needed."