Be my last love.

chapter 33

"You should. Don't hesitate to seek my help when it's needed. I will be glad to offer you my help." I said as she shook her head at me in denial.

"Things are so awkward between us, to begin with. Don't make it worse. No one will believe even if we say nothing is going between us because once upon a time we both were in a RELATIONSHIP. Can't blame them though because the friendship between the Ex'es is too uncommon. Moreover, you are married. I don't want to be a cause of even the slightest misunderstanding in your relationship. I don't know whether your wife is aware of our past relationship or not but I don't want her to get hurt because of my presence as I knew what a painful experience it was." She said while looking at the other side blankly.

I kept my silence as I knew what she had said was reasonable.

"I really wanted to help you but I understand where you are coming from though."

"Good to know but seriously, are you pitying me, Dhruv?" She asked me in a blank tone as I shook my head in denial.

"Why will I pity you, Ankitha? For what reason should I have to show pity? For being strong even after what you have faced or for putting up with a toxic relationship all these years with hope? Exactly for what? I can't pity you and if I do, I have to pity myself for being sick at mind." I took a deep breath as I intended to tell her the reason.

"Ankitha, did you remember once you asked me a question when we were in a relationship? You asked me 'would you help me as a friend even when we both wouldn't be in a relationship in the future?' Did you remember what I had said? I told you that irrespective of the circumstances and our relationship, I would always be there for you and protect you. I told you that because firstly you were my best friend and my secret keeper with whom I used to confide every little thing."

"I still remembered the promise I gave you and I am guilty because I couldn't keep my word of protecting you. When you told me about your married life, I regretted not keeping in contact with you. I regretted not saying anything when you initiated the break-up. I am sorry, Ankitha. You were my best friend before we started dating. I promised to be your best friend even if our relationship didn't work out. I am so sorry for being a bad friend."

"When you said that you were breaking up with me and we both shouldn't stay in touch anymore, I was heartbroken at the loss of our precious friendship even when I thought I was madly in love with you. I cried for our broken friendship more than our broken relationship. I haven't confessed all these things to anyone because everything sounds absurd and no one knows the pact we had between us."

"It's because of my promise, I asked you to seek my help. It's because of my promise I was guilty but anymore though. Seeing you like this in front of me, I am assured that you can and will live well." I told her everything that I had bottled up in my heart.

I had indeed courted her in the past but this girl in front of me agreed to be in a relationship with me only if I could promise her that we would still be friends even if had a break-up or if things wouldn't go well between us. As I thought I was in love with her, I agreed to her every condition. As the days passed by, we became more close just like the best friends and I even shared every little thing that I hadn't even shared with my friends because I was comfortable with her and I mistook that comfort as love and it took someone's presence to make me realize that fact.

"I know. I was so cruel to you back then. I was being selfish and took our relationship for granted. To be honest, you don't have to feel guilty because you aren't the cause of my situation. It was my doing and I should have to bear the consequences of my own decisions. You know, so many times, I had an urge to call you and tell you everything. I wanted to cry out my heart and wanted you to seek justice for me but did I have that right? I was the one who broke even the last string of our relationship i.e., our friendship. I thought it was my karma for breaking your heart." She wiped her tears as she was speaking and even my eyes got tore a little.