Shot In The Dark [Book 1]

4.7 - Memories And Videos

"Are you telling us that you're quitting your career to go to medical school? This is a weird, extreme way of doing that. A cake would've been fine." Ashton jokes, causing Luke to hush him.

"Margo, what is this?" Luke repeats himself and I close my eyes before looking over at him.

"My brain." I whisper, my bottom lip quivering. "My eating disorder has caused a tumour to form and it's taking my memory. I'm not going to make it to twenty-five."

They all look up at me, each of their faces draining of all colour.

"You're twenty-three though." Mikey states quietly and I nod at the already well-known knowledge.

"You said you thought that it was just from your depression though." Luke's eyes scan over me as if I'm a puzzle and I look away from him.

"I didn't want anyone to find out like this, but my doctor told me yesterday and I didn't know how else to tell you." I shake my head, trying to swallow the sharp lump in my throat. "I didn't think a cake was fitting for this type of thing."

"You're going to forget us, aren't you?" Luke clears his throat as if he's trying to push a sharp lump out of his own throat and I shrug.

"I don't know. I hope I don't, but I don't even know if I'll make it to tomorrow." I shake my head, beginning to cry.

We all sit in silence as I watch them trying to piece all of this together. Hoping, praying they won't hate me.

"Are you guys mad at me?" I choke out, gaining their attention again.

"No, no we aren't mad." Luke quickly sets the papers down and comes over to where I'm sitting, pulling me into a hug. "We would never be mad at you for something like this."

"I don't want to forget you guys." I begin to cry again and Luke pulls me into one of the tightest hugs I've ever received and I don't know which one of us needs it more.

As Luke whispers soft reassuring phrases to me, Calum picks up the papers and looks at the scans as if they're in a different language. After a few minutes, he slams them onto the couch and leaves the house without a single word.

Luke and I pull away from the hug to watch him leave the house, slamming the front door.

"He hates me." I look to Luke and Ashton quickly chimes in.

"He doesn't, he's just confused and upset. You should go talk to him." Ashton reassures me and I sniffle in response. "I think you two need to have a private conversation."

"What if he doesn't want to talk?" I toss my hands up as if I've lost, which I might as well throw in the towel at the rate my luck is going.

"Then just sit with him. I promise it'll help him." Ashton rubs my hand and I nod, standing up from the couch.

"I'll be right back." I rub my nose and Ashton shakes his head.

"Take your time, we'll still be here."

I walk towards the front door, my hands shaking even more with each step. I open the door and see Calum smoking a cigarette on the steps.

I close the front door and sit down beside him, looking off into the distance the same we he is.

"So, this is it?" He asks holding the cigarette up to his lips before pulling it away and blowing the smoke out. "This is where you break up with me and tell me that you don't want to hurt me?"

"No, of course not. I just need you to know that if I could change the odds, I would." I look over to him and he shakes his head, laughing quietly.

"All of that talk about your 'in another life' belief sure as hell foreshadowed this. I feel like I'm in some sad, shitty coming of age novel." He takes another puff from the cigarette before looking at me. "Which one of us is hopelessly in love with the sick kid?"

"I don't know, I feel like we won't know that until the end of this sad, shitty coming of age novel where we're both dying." I smile softly, wiping the leftover tears away. "It's ironic how as soon as we think we've got this whole relationship and love thing down, the universe does everything to rip it away from us again."

"Maybe the universe is telling us we aren't meant to be together." He shrugs and I shake my head.

"We wouldn't be trying so hard to make it work if that's true." I let out a long sigh. "Maybe it's just not our time yet."

"That's possible?" He looks at me, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's sad, but it's reality. Right person wrong time happens quite often." I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. "I hope you know that I love you."

"I love you too." Calum nods, looking down at the ground. "That's why it hurts that I can't help you."

I turn to him and watch as he sits in silence. As if he thinks that sitting still will stop time.

"You actually can." I speak up, grabbing his attention. "My doctor said I can start writing everything down or recording everything. You could help me."

"Like a documentary?" He furrows his eyebrows and I shrug.

"It can be anything we want. Koleton is out at the store getting me a camera right now. We can record everything we do like we normally would. As if I'm not really sick." I smile softly and he lets out a long sigh, trying to piece all of this together.

"Like a home-made movie." He breathes out and I nod.

"We can call it 'The Story Of Us.'" I motion with my hands as if there's a sign in front of my face and he crinkles his nose in disgust, furiously shaking his head. "What? I think it's a good name."

"For a love story, maybe, but you deserve something better. Something like a badass album name." He taps his chin as if he's thinking. "Something that ties it all together."

"Fuck Bitches, Get Money." I grin, clearly joking and he lets out a laugh that sounds as if he didn't just hear the worst news ever.

"I love you, so much." He shakes his head, planting a kiss on my lips. "Please, never forget that."

"I'll try my best. No promises though." I whisper, placing my hand on top of his. "You have to make sure you don't forget me though."

"I don't think that's possible." He shakes his head before placing his forehead against mine.

"Yeah, it's going to be hard to forget someone as amazing as me." I shoot out a joke to try and lighten the mood and he laughs, sniffling. "Please don't hate me."

"I would never hate you, Margo. I don't think it's possible for me to hate you. Its not in my DNA to hate you." He pulls back to get a good look at me. "I love you. Every part of you. Even the bad parts that we can't control, or don't understand. I love them no matter what. We're going to get through this, together."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to give you a chance. If I would've just set my pride to the side then we would have years of memories." I apologize, tears flooding my eyes. "I may not remember them, but you would and that means a lot."

"It's okay, it's perfectly okay Margo. I have you now, okay? Thats all that I'm worried about. Lets just worry about right now." His words calm me down slightly and make feel as if everything is okay.

I plant another kiss on his lips, this time making sure I savour every part of it. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want him to lose me either.

I don't think either of us can handle it.

"So, what should the first video be about?" He asks softly and I smile.

"I feel like we could just start with the basics. Maybe introduce ourselves and state the reason we're doing the videos." I respond and he nods. "This is going to give you guys lots of things to write songs about."