Yours truly ; Charlie Weasley

Thirty-three

I need a drink.

"You're unbelievable." I breathed and walked over to the desk to put away the book. "I would never read your shit without your permission."

"I know." I heard him say. "Babe— I just thought it could give me an insight. I have no idea what you're thinking half the time and you're giving me all these mixed signals."

I closed the drawer and turned around to look at him, leaning against the desk.

"I'm sorry." I breathed. "I don't mean to send mixed signals but you're not the only one who's confused. Half the time I wanna kiss you but the other half I want to kill you for what you did. I love you but I'm so fucking angry with you."

Charlie slowly walked over to me, placing himself right in front of me. He leaned down to my level, placing a hand on the desk on either side of my body, locking me in place.

"I'm sorry I read it." He said. "And I'm sorry about the things I said yesterday and also now about the pregnancy."

"It always comes down to that." I sighed. "It's nice that we're both able to apologise but what happens then, huh? We just go on and act like this loving couple until the next time we fight? Then we apologise again and it just ends up being this evil circle."

His right hand came up to grasp my jaw, his eyes staring at my lips as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I know." He whispered, nuzzling his nose against my cheek. "But I really am sorry, my darling. About everything. I didn't know I hurt you that badly before I read your feelings."

"No, it's not like I told you about a million times after you returned." I said. "Told you how hurt I was. Told you how broken I was. I had and still have nightmares about the war but the only difference from the ones before you left, is that in these... you're the one who died and not Fred. I'm sorry I've been sending you mixed signals but it's only because I have mixed feelings towards all of this."

I placed my hands on his, forcing them off of the desk before I gently pushed him away, then I myself moved away from the desk so he couldn't pin me against it again.

"That's why we're in couple counseling." I said. "Because we have no clue what we're doing. We don't know how to get through this and we can't get through it. Not without help."

"Babe we don't need help!" He raised his voice. "How is a stranger supposed to do shit to help? She doesn't know us. Doesn't know our backstory. All we need is—"

He took a deep breath.

"We just need to communicate better."

"That's not gonna work." I sighed. "That always seems to be the solution, doesn't it? Just communicate better. Maybe what we need is a fresh start."

Charlie frowned at me as he stepped closer to me. He ran his hands up through his hair before resting them on the back of his head, his biceps showing.

"A fresh start?" He asked with a shrug. "What? Want me to move out? Is that what you want?"

I sighed again.

"So let me get this straight — you are angry at me — and with good reason may I add — for leaving you for six months." He said. "But now— now you want me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave."

He let out a cackle. He kept his arms on the back of his head. It was like he knew what he was doing. His biceps looked big and I could see the skin of his lower abdomen because of the shirt that had ridden up, along with the trail of hair from under his belly button, leading downwards.

"You want a fresh start."

"And you automatically thing that means I want you to leave?"

"What else is it supposed to mean?!" He yelled, letting his hands drop. I flinched at how suddenly his voice raised along with the sudden action of his hands. Charlie saw my reaction. He frowned and after just watching each other for a moment, he started tearing up. "Ember what the hell?"

I slowly wrapped my arms around myself and my eyes dropped to the floor.

"You're falling out of love with me." He spoke, his voice soft and fragile, making me look back up at him.

"I'm not falling out of love with you."

"Yes you are." He nodded. "I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at me. You thought I was going to hit you."

"I didn't think that."

"You flinched, Ember." He commented, gesturing towards me. "You thought I was going to hit you. I'd never do that! You know I'd never do that. I've never laid a hand on you. Never."

I didn't think he was going to hit me. I was just surprised by the sudden movement.

"Charlie, I didn't think you'd—"

"I'd never hit you." He repeated. "You're everything to me. Y-You're everything."

"Why're you being so dramatic?" I asked. "I know you wouldn't hurt me. You just scared me with how sudden you dropped your hands, but I didn't think you were going to hit me, so just drop it, yeah?"

Charlie took a deep breath. His eyes never left my face as I walked over to sit on the middle of the bed.

"Where were you today?" He asked in a calm and steady tone, completely changing the topic. "You didn't say you were going anywhere, you weren't home when I got off work and you got home at half past eight."

"At the Burrow." I said. "Your mum invited me a couple of days ago. Ginny showed me her dress, I got to tease Harry about his scar and I got to talk to Bill and Fleur about their baby."

Charlie nodded slowly and folded his arms over his chest. His eyes flicked to the floor. His jaw was tense and I noticed how he gulped harshly.

"You didn't tell me mum had invited you."

I shrugged.

"Guess I didn't think about it."