Hashire! (Discontinued, new version in AO3)

Secrets

DUUUDEE
its another chapterrrr
i think, i think im going to say this, with a lot of uncertainty and a bit of confidence,
imma try to update every sunday, unless i update Children Of Nature :DD
so if some sunday i dont update, i probably updated Children of nature
omggggggggggggggggggggggg
im like, i finally know how to continue this, ITS SO EXCITINGGG AHHH
ALMOST FORGOT no descriptions of rape, but just mentions. also mentions of death :((

Gon sat down on the bed, fiddling with the hem of the shirt. He still was hesitant, opening his mouth every now and then only to close it.

"Hey, Gon..."

"Y-yea?"

"Would it, maybe, make you feel a bit better if I told you a secret of mine? I don't know, it might help..."

"You don't have to do that! Really, Killua doesn't need to do that for me. It's fine!"

"It's not about what I have to do, I want to do this, Gon." Killua puts his hand on Gon's shoulder. "Really, if it's going to help, I will. I don't mind." It's the least I can do for you, even if it means talking about her.

"I... I think it would. I think so," Gon mumbled. Killua smiled softly.

"Okay, take your time, alright? There's no rush." Gon sighed.

"I'm ready now. I can do this." Gon looked up at Killua, before his eyes glazed after, as if remembering something. "I... It's true, I'm not a virgin. I... I actually didn't tell Mito this, yet. I told one of my friends, but it just turned out he was with the gang and well, told them. I didn't tell Mito because I don't want her to worry about me... so just, make sure, make sure to keep this from her. I think part of what makes it hard is that the last time I told someone..."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Plus, as I said, you'll have my own secret, you can use that against me if I ever do say anything, which I won't. Not because you have a secret of mine but because you are my, my friend... So, don't worry."

"Killua's really good at this," Gon said, smiling. Killua sputtered, about to say something, but Gon continued, "I was raped, a year and a half before I went to school." Killua's mouth snapped shut, eyes wide. "I... there were these women, who would come here, looking for people to give them a tour of the nice places, and well, since I'm considered one of the brightest kids, along with a couple of others and some men, I would take some of these women on the tour. Not all of them were bad! Many were very kind, they would teach me things, like knitting, some tips in baking, taking care of kids, etcetera. But one of the women..." Gon grimaced. He took a shaky breath as his hand shook. "She, she took me to her hotel room, said she wanted to teach me something cool. This was before Mito gave me the talk about sex, so I had no idea what was happening. She, uh. She-" Gon shivered, covering his mouth when he remembered what she did. Tears gathered, and Killua was about to reach out for comfort but Gon flinched back.

"You don't have to continue," Killua said as he withdrew his hand. "I understand. Do you feel nauseous? Do you want some water?"

"N-no..." Gon looked for any hate in Killua's odd brown eyes. They were weird, almost like something was covering them. He sighed once his thoughts trailed back to their conversation.

"Gon, hey, I don't know why the hell they called you a slut, because, what the fuck, obviously you aren't, and don't think that I would hate or leave you because of something like this. I swear... Do you, do you want me to tell you mine now? Or do you want to take a break?"

Gon was thankful for the change of subject. He thought for a second. "I... I am a bit curious. I don't know as much as I would like about Killua, and I want to know as much as possible!"

Killua sputtered for a second, pouting when Gon laughed, then gave a short sigh. "Okay... I, I have two options. One is more serious and... weird? I guess? And I don't really want to talk about that one, at least, not yet. The other one is kinda gruesome, and still really serious, and sad, I guess. It's hard for me to talk about, and well, now that I think about it, out of context it sounds very cruel- but well, I don't, I don't mind telling you, though I can't promise the reason will make complete sense..."

"You can tell me the second one, I don't want Killua to be uncomfortable!" Killua smiled, before biting his lip nervously.

"So, I have a couple of siblings. I live in a pretty strict family, who don't like it when I slack off in work, or disrespect them, stuff like that. My brother is usually the one who keeps me in check. I don't like my family, except for maybe my grandfather, since he takes my side sometimes- sorry, I'm rambling, uh." Gon just hummed softly, rocking back and forth, listening intently. "Well. So, the only other family members I really love are my two younger sisters. My family doesn't want to consider them as family, though. One of the reasons is because Alluka is biologically male, but, she feels more feminine, and I guess my family just thinks being trans is equivalent to being imperfect, which is really stupid." Killua paused, unsure of how he was going to explain Nanika. Gon raised an eyebrow, and Killua continued. "I'm not sure how to explain my other sister, Nanika... so, don't freak out, or anything. She... She's a spirit? Kind of? She doesn't exactly have a body, you can kind of think of it as like, um. She possesses Alluka, but, with Alluka's consent, and it's not exactly possessing, it's more like... residing in Alluka."

"Okay... and, is this the other reason your family doesn't accept her?"

"Yeah... um. This, this is going to be a bit confusing from now. Okay, uh. Well. God, this is really hard to say now that I'm actually saying it." Gon giggled, and Killua laughed nervously.

"I... My sister, Alluka. My brother- he-" Killua sniffles a little. "He said Alluka was a nuisance. That she was distracting me, and because of her I was... the quality of my work was dropping. He- w-with consent from m-my father..." Killua trailed off, tears streaming down his face, and Gon could smell the absolute defeat and sadness on Killua. He connected the dots.

"They- what! Isn't that, that's, they, what!?" Gon was dumbfounded. Okay, sure, it would make sense to punish Killua, since apparently he wasn't working hard, but killing his sister? "What the heck?"

"Yeah... Thats why, I said, it wouldn't really make sense... There's a bit more, though." Gon took in a deep breath, and nodded signaling he was ready. "Well, they didn't know how to kill Nanika. Nanika, as far as she would tell me, is able to keep in contact with Alluka's soul. She says she has more friends like her, who might be able to link us together, so I can still talk to her, but well, I haven't really heard anything from her. Ever since Alluka... yea, she um, she kinda took some sort of black misty form of her. She sometimes comes out if I ask, or randomly to fill in on her progress. I'm not sure if she's here right now..." Gon stared at the pastel green bed-sheets, thinking, brows furrowed.

"Okay... I'm still a bit stuck on what your family did. I just- gosh... Can you try to call Nanika out right now? I wanna meet her."

"Okay, give me a second." Killua closed his eyes, blocking out his surroundings. He hadn't done this in a while, he hoped Nanika wouldn't be too shy to come out in front of Gon. Nanika, you there? Think you can come out? I want to introduce you to someone. Killua stayed silent for a second. Another minute passed, and Killua stilled when his skin went cold...

was it a cold breeze? was it just killua being nervous??? is it nanika??????????????????
tehe
anyway
im already like, a tinsy bit less than halfway through the next chapter, like, 2 pages, so well, i think you can look forward to an update next week :DD
see you then!!