The Way You Make Me Feel [ J.J ]

4.

tw; heavy petting/making out

The September air hit my face as I walked towards JJ's apartment building, the two of us deciding to meet there instead of at her office. I hugged my sweater closer to my chest, wishing I had worn one of my sweatshirts instead of my stupid high school drama club sweater that was at least five years old now. But I was nervous, so I wasn't thinking about what I was wearing this morning. I was mostly thinking about what was going to happen in that apartment. But also because I didn't know what I was going to do with myself if we officially ended things. I couldn't begin to imagine what my life would be like, and it sent me on a spiral in the hours leading up to our talk. I somehow was able to force myself to focus enough to get some semi-coherent notes, knowing that I'd need to look over all of them again before my next class.

I walked through the front gates of the building, remembering to punch in the code she told me that would ring her buzzer. Seconds later the front door unlocked, and I made my way inside, going to the elevator and clicking the button for the seventh floor. The ride up felt longer than it should have, and by the time the doors opened I was ready to catapult myself out. I fixed my composure and walked down the hall to her door, knocking lightly. I heard a muffled "coming!" and waited, my fingers nervously drumming on the straps of my bookbag, which I had shoved an extra pair of clothes and my nighttime stuff in this morning-just in case, you know? You can never be too prepared.

"Y/N, hey." JJ swallowed, her hand cupped under her mouth. "Come in."

I slid inside, walking past her as she shut the door. I set my bag down by my shoes, standing there for a second as she walked past me back to the couch.

"Sorry, I was in the middle of shoving my face with sushi. Do you want any?"

"Oh I-" I paused. "I'm good."

JJ raised an eyebrow. "Okay."

There was an awkward silence between us before I noticed she wanted me to sit on the couch, quickly making my way over and sitting on the opposite end.

"I want to start by saying, I did not think of Sunday night as a mistake." JJ looked me dead in the eye.

"I know. I just... overreacted. Everything was hitting me like a ton of bricks and I... I didn't know how to react. It's not every day you find out you've fucked your teacher."

JJ chuckled. "It's absolutely terrifying, and I want you to know that I'm scared too. I taught myself how to be calm in situations like that, and I should have phrased what I said differently."

"It's not your fault, JJ." I looked up at her. "If anything, it's mine. I'm just a 20 year old college girl who's trying to find herself."

Her eyes widened. "You're 20?"

"Yeah...?" I questioned. "What made you- oh. The club."

"I thought you were at least 21."

"Nope. Just turned 20 last month." I bit the inside of my lip. "That's not a problem, is it?"

"I mean no, but..."

"My friend Elle convinced me to get a fake I.D my freshman year."

"Ah." A moment of silence. "So, you go there often?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Small talk? Damn, Jennifer."

"I don't know what else you want me to say!" She laughed along with me. "I didn't expect you to be 20, is all."

"I know. A lot of people think I'm older." I curled my legs up closer to my body. "My mom used to tell me I acted mature for my age."

"Funny enough, my friends say the same about me."