The Space Between Failing and Falling • Snarry •

Chapter 7: Terror and Truce

Severus's voice drops to a whisper. "How fast was the car?"

"Not fast. It was fine." He doesn't need Legilimency to know that Potter is lying.

"This is not a joke." He slams Potter by his shoulders into the bookshelves. The vial smashes to the floor and spills crimson over the carpet. "Do not lie to me!" he roars.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Potter's rib cage rises and falls rapidly.

He stares into emerald eyes and in a single moment sees: a crowd leaving a pub, pushing his Harry into a main road. A lorry approaching at speed. Potter turning at the last second—he cast wordless, wandless magic—

"You bastard—you had no right!" Potter spits.

Severus still has his grip on the boy as though he is about to kiss him.

Potter, flushed and angry.

Potter, handsome and reckless and strong and stupid.

Potter who, like Samson, will find the columns of the temple shall crash down on his skull.

He has almost forgotten that they are not alone.

No one can know.

He casts a Silencing Charm around them in a protective bubble.

"Foolish! Idiotic! It is imperative you take the power of your wand with you to the grave!" He shakes Potter by the shoulders. "Every time you perform extraordinary magic, you paint a target on your head. If this gets out, someone will find you, and they will slay you! Of that there can be no doubt."

"You're hurting me."

Severus breaks what he cares about.

"I didn't face death on your behalf over and over again only for you to attract attention to yourself," Severus says. "Who saw? Do we need to Obliviate anyone?"

"Let go of me!" Potter shoves him off.

"Frankly Potter, the time has long since passed for you to learn Occlumency. The Deathstick—it is extraordinary! People will clamour for it! Its long and bloody reputation precedes it—"

"And you?" he sneers. "Do you want to kill me for it, too? You'll be the most powerful wizard in the world."

He is correct.

"Tell me," Potter says, his eyes ablaze. "The truth."

"There are many things I want," Severus says slowly. "Your head on a platter isn't one of them."

"I believe you."

"You shouldn't." They regard each other for a few moments, before Severus says, "Promise me no one else knows."

"No one knows." He can see that Potter is telling the truth. "You're not going to offer to teach me Occlumency, are you? Because you're so fucking disrespectful to me I don't know if I can bear to be in the same room as you."

"It's not as though you can risk going to anybody else." He rubs the scars on his neck and sighs. For God's sake. "Teaching you Occlumency would be in your best interest. And Merlin knows, I always resolve to do what's in your best interests, whether I like the idea or not."

Harry twists his lips and sits down. "You needn't look so happy about it. Should we learn here? Your grandma seems nice, at least."

Thank Merlin the Silencing Charm is still up. "Possibly."

"You shouldn't have shouted at me," Potter says.

Severus can't meet him in the eye, so sits on the sofa and says nothing.

"Or manhandled me."

A vein pulses in Severus's temple.

Potter is now looking around at the walls which are covered in books. "Can I take a look?"

Before Severus can reply, Potter is rifling through titles, and Severus springs up, to better monitor that he doesn't pull them out of order from the Dewey Decimal Classification.

"Have you got a beginners Latin book?" Potter asks. "I'm stuck on the derivatives of the Dark Magic invented by Ignatius the Ignorant."

Severus goes over to the section he knows contains languages (Class Four Hundred and Seventy, naturally) and runs his finger down the spine of an almost forgotten text.

"This one I shared with your mother." He flicks through the pages and snorts. "She wrote in violet ink."

He passes it to Potter who cannot believe his eyes.

"Really? You'd give this to me?"

It is a peace offering.

"It is a loan. I am not a book charity."

"Do you want me to sign it out? And pay a fine if it's late?" Potter says with a smile.

Before Severus can do anything more than frown, Potter adds, "Thanks. Really—I mean it. For this, and for patching me up." He clutches the book to his chest.

It startles Severus that Harry is swaying slightly on the spot.

He, perhaps unnecessarily if he were to analyse his actions, holds Potter by the shoulder. "You need to go home and rest."

Potter nods. He is standing very near. The awareness that they are entirely alone threatens to overwhelm him. His throat tightens as numerous possibilities fill his mind, dizzying him.

It would be so easy to slip into the irresistible well of Potter's warmth, yet he is well-practiced at desiring that which he cannot have.

"You cannot stay here," Severus says, raising his eyebrow, "I do not have a guest suite."

Potter shakes his head and stares at the hand on his shoulder, which Severus promptly snatches back.

His love is a fire burning brightly. It's not a spark, or even a flame. He's alight and surely everyone can see it. Severus wants to hurt him, slam his head against the wall until he understands. Instead, he says, "You should stay away from me."

Potter narrows his eyes, so Severus acts in the only way he knows to regain some sense of control over the situation. "It was incredibly foolhardy of you to leave hospital. Don't do it again."

Potter splutters. "Excuse me?"

"The Anti-Apparition Jinx finishes outside my front door. You may see yourself out."

Severus crosses to the hidden door that leads to the tiny upstairs.

Every step pained him, as though walking across broken glass.

He did not hang around to check whether Potter had left.

****

A/N: If you enjoyed the chapter, please support it by voting <3