The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Fifty-Nine*

Epilogue

The spring flowers are in full bloom, bringing the dreary cemetery to life, I don't even need to look for the landmarks that had used to help me navigate and help find Finn's grave, I know exactly where it is as if it were the back of my hand, and I could find it with my eyes closed

It's been a while, since I'd been here, university had kept me much too occupied, but it seemed as if it were time to come back after years of putting this off

I needed to do this In order that I be able to move on and get the complete closure I had sought

I knew this for at least two years now, but I had kept putting it off for reasons unknown to me

It had been a year since Finn's death when a memory kept on repeating itself to me, the memory of him and I sitting in that restaurant when he had told me that even though we died, our souls lived on

And I owed his soul an apology

I realized this my second year into uni-life, so as a joke I thought I'd write him a letter and eventually go and read it to him, or well at least whatever remained of his body beneath the sand

A letter gradually became 400 and 6 pages of a full on book

Which brings me here, to where you dear reader are reading this right now, how else did you think you got here?

I uploaded this book onto an online site, and 14 months later I was offered a deal, that it would have been simply stupid to not have taken

It's sort of funny, but our love story became a bestseller

Sales have been great if you must know, my book had been flying off the shelves all over the state and now internationally

If this wasn't the ideal time to come and pay my respects, I don't know when would be

Because it was not my story alone it was our story

Mine and Finn's

I had after all found a way to keep him remembered, by living through people's imagination

The joy's fiction brought

As I sit on the fold up chair that I brought with for me to sit on, I look around at how nothing has changed, yet everything has

Taking out my first document of the book, I took in a dangerously deep breath, I was about to be here a while..................

I remember the day you told me you believed the dead could hear us, and I hadn't believed it then, still might not believe it now, but for some reason I'm here because of that - of what you told me and believed in

I know it's been a while, but I've needed time, for apparently its time that heals

I don't disagree; I just wish whoever came up with that saying had expanded on it a bit more

It would have made everything a little bit easier

Because the only thing time gifts you is the opportunity to try out every new way to cope with whatever has happened to you, so that you are able evaluate which coping mechanism works best for you

This book is mine Finn

I needed someone to listen, really listen – as you can probably tell I haven't come across that special person yet, but maybe it was for this specific special reason

Finn, it's been years I've had time to grow, you've taught me that much, so much in fact knowingly and unknowingly I presume on your end

And what I've taken from all that was to not base my value off others opinions, to not settle for less, to love recklessly without any limitations, to just be .....