Lucky

109

"It's okay, Mrs. Brown. It's not your fault..I shouldn't have let him fall for me. It was a mistake anyways." I said as tears started to fall down my cheeks.

"What do you mean?" She asked as I started to sob. "He broke my heart. That's why I'm here. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." I cried out as she pulled me into a hug.

"Shhh, it's okay." She cooed and smoothed my hair down. "I love him." I whispered as she tightened her grip. "What happened? How did he break your heart?" She asked and scratched my back gently.

I explained everything to her in between my sobs. She listened to me, being patient with me since I had to stop a couple times.

"You said you love him and he loves you. Also you know he wasn't lying, so what's the problem?" She asked as I pulled back and wiped my cheeks.

"I don't know. Something is telling me to just put my walls back up. The abandonment issues and trust issues are just telling me to run. I just don't want to get hurt again." I whispered feeling my chest cave in.

"Trust me. I know exactly how you're feeling. I still loved Dave when I left him. No matter how many times he hurt me I couldn't shake the love I had for him. It was addictive." She said as I listened intently.

"Once he was gone for good I realized I was in love with the idea of someone loving me and not him." She said as I chewed on my lip. "Are you telling me to leave him?" I asked as she shook her head.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying you might not know how much you really love someone until they are gone." She said quietly.

I let that sit in my mind for a little bit. It only confused me more but I had a feeling it would make sense to me at some point.

I ended up staying at Daisy's mom's house for dinner. It felt good to be able to spend time with her since she was always like a second mom to me.

"It was nice to see you." I said and hugged her. "Yes it was. Let me know if you need anything. I'll always be here for you." She said then cupped my cheek gently. "Thank you. I'll call you, thanks for everything." I said then opened the door to leave. "Love you sweetie." She said and waved. "Love you too." I said then turned to walk towards my Uber.

When I got to the hotel I took another shower then tried to go to sleep since I had to be up early to catch my flight to Colorado.

I had another restless night filled with nightmares though so I only got a couple hours in.

I groaned then got out of bed so I could get to the airport. I texted Ki telling her what time my flight was supposed to land then packed my stuff up and went to my Uber.

I couldn't help but feel my heart ache knowing I was leaving Ohio again. Being here brought back bad memories but this is where my only remaining family was.

It was still sad to leave.

"Bye grams." I whispered to myself as we drove passed the nursing home. I made a promise to myself that I would visit her more often.

When we got to the airport I got out and went to security. I wasn't looking forward to the flight because I was already so exhausted and it was a long flight.

I got through security pretty fast then went to my gate. I got there just in time but felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

Ki: You owe me two beers and two kisses on the cheek for making my ass be up this early.

I laughed at the response then replied.

Violet: Deal.

I put my phone on airplane mode then boarded the plane. I was kinda excited to get back to Colorado for a little bit since I missed my friends. I was also sick of feeling sad, I wanted to just try and have fun so I could combat the emptiness in my chest.

The flight was as horrible as I thought it would be. I was exhausted and I had a headache but it felt good to be on the ground again.

I texted Ki that I landed so she could let me know where to meet her when she landed.

I went to go get some food, making sure to get some for Ki since she would probably be hungry. Not long after I got the food Ki told me to meet her at baggage claim.

When I got there she was standing there with a big smile. "I missed you!!!" She said then tackled me with a hug as I laughed. "It was only two days." I said as she grabbed her bag.

"Two days too long. How are you feeling?" She asked as I sighed. "I just want to try and have fun." I said then rubbed my chest.

"Alright, let's have fun then." She said this a smile then linked her arm through mine.