Wonderland

IV - Fate

A hair unkempt. Cream dress spotted and sweaty, loose beige cardigan. Her fingers trembled as drips of blood trickled from her scarred hands. Her breathing heavy, legs quivering, shoulders stiff. I couldn't believe the shape I was in, but there's no doubting it; it was me.

Except for a small, important detail.

I didn't have sapphire eyes.

I looked around, but my eyes were sapphire in every mirror. I approached the one ahead of me, grazing the reflection with my fingers. The sapphire eyes were bright, but also tainted with tiny black dots. But, even so, it seemed so clear, as if it was another person I was seeing.

"Ahahah! I'm sorry, I was just messing with you."
"Waah!"

I jumped back as my reflection moved and talked by itself. I stumbled back, yet behind me was another mirror, where whatever was controlling my reflection was there as well. It had been an endless roller coaster for my thumping heart, and it only stopped for a while before the madness continued. Eventually I curled myself to a crouching ball, covered my head again.
"Calm down, girl." She grinned devilishly. How could I? My reflections were alive. "I won't hurt you... for now."
"W..who... are you...?" I peeked out, voice trembling.

"I am you."
"You... are me...?"
"The mirrors don't lie, girl; this is as true as it can get."
"What do you mean...?"

The reflections twisted and warped again, followed by a ringing voice of maniacal laughs and whispers. Shortly after, the reflections became clear again; this time, there was a girl with a gothic black dress, her cardigan dark purple. It mimicked what I wore, only with different colours. So was her hair, now a solid black, contrasted by a pale skin. The biggest difference was her bandages. They were everywhere—some clean, some patched with blood; along her wrists, some visible around the neck, and some more wrapped around her thighs—a Band-Aid on her cheek. She chuckled at seeing me with widened eyes and gaping mouth; her chuckle was still with my voice. Her eyes also remained unchanged; the gleaming sapphire.
Now it was clear that she was not me. But her words rang through;
"The mirrors don't lie." Was what she said earlier. As fantastical as it sounded, I wrapped my head around it.

And that was when it hit me again.

Gusted through me; a twinging, slow-burning pain that one feels when letting go of a strongly-gripped thorny rose. Of the adrenaline that rushes when one stops running from their fears and instead runs towards them. Of the sense of pleasure with a hint of guilt when one gives in to their desires.
A shadow that one often pushes away, yet with every push, it comes back stronger—the other side of a person that shows up from time to time just to wreak havoc and look miserable.
It was no wind of adventure, neither the caring warmth nor the malicious cold.

It was but a cup of tea, both bitter and sweet, as her memories crept up to become mine.

"Hahah... you've realised it." She saw my eyes spaced out, lost in thoughts and realisations. "We are one and the same, you and I."

I remembered the bullies, and how they ended up after they kept hitting me.

"T..that's... not true...!" I rejected her, stumbling back. "I would never do those horrible things!" The second I blinked, I saw my supposed self reflected on the mirror, yet then my dress was black, and my hands were full of bandages.
"You just can't see it yourself, can you?" The me on the other side of the reflection; she giggled madly. "They were parts of your true self, and you are but an empty shell of who you really are." Before long, I blinked again, and I was back to my own body.