• Smooth Criminal • Sebastian Smythe-BOOK ONE✔

f i f t y - t h r e e

Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes dragged Marina and Arabella into the staff room, telling the pair they saw Coach Beiste with Cooter again. They strolled into the room, but a man stood, feebly looking at the girls. "This is the teachers' lounge. It is our sacred space."

Santana smirked. "Britt, Marina, Arabella, and I are gay, and Mercedes is black, so kicking us out would be a hate crime." The four nodded.

Brittany shrugged half-heartedly. "Well, I'm not totally gay, and neither is Marina and Arabella doesn't care, but I think that trees are born the same way as babies, so kicking me out would be kind of mean."

They then walked over to Coach Beiste, who was eating a whole chicken. She looked up at them, mid bite, before placing the chicken down. "I'm eating my chicken, ladies."

"You're still wearing your wedding ring." Santana noted immediately.

"And I saw you last night at the 7:00 p.m. showing of 21 Jump Street- with Cooter." Mercedes added.

Brittany paused. "Cooter was in 21 Jump Street? I didn't know he was an actor."

"Coach, you told us you were leaving him." Arabella muttered quietly, looking at the woman with knowing eyes.

"I gave you the numbers of the best state's attorneys." Marina added, smiling at the mention of the parents of her best friends.

"You lied to us." Santana finished, looking down at the woman.

"I know how this looks, but you just don't understand how complicated adult relationships can be." She responded, not making eye contact with the girls.

"I mean, he hit you and you stayed. What's complicated about that?" Mercedes asked, confused.

"I'm very sorry if this is confusing for you, but what's the world worth if people don't get a second chance?" The football coach asked back at the girls.

Santana gave her a surprised look. "Wait, so you're saying he changed?" Her tone was full of surprise as well.

"Well, he knows now that if he treats me bad again, I am out." She responded, speaking sternly. She then faltered as Mercedes gave her an unsure look.

"I don't know. Can people change that fast? I mean, most guys I know don't even know how to change their own underwear." Marina gave her a look that made her not want to step near any boys for the near future (yet she knew that would be short-lived).

Brittany made a noise of agreement. "I couldn't really figure that out, so I just stopped wearing any at all."

"My mom changed quickly." Arabella said quietly, "But not all people are like that."

"I think you need to get out of the house, if only for a weekend." Santana said as Coach Beiste stood.

"Come with us to Nationals." Marina suggested.

"You have two chaperones already. I don't even know if I'm welcome back in Chicago after I body-slammed Refrigerator Perry in a bar fight." She shrugged unsurely.

"We care about you, Coach. We just want to see you safe." Mercedes said as the woman began to walk past them.

"Thank you, girls, but I can take care of myself."

Sue had called everyone to the locker room as the bell rang, everyone piling in and sitting down. Marina and Arabella stayed standing, making sure not to come into contact with anything as it would definitely ruin their clothes in some way.

"Please ignore the stench of mildew and jock strap and focus your attention on the screen." Sue told them, before looking to Kurt. "Porcelina?"

Kurt stood, turning to the group. "Yesterday, I snuck into a Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal, and what I saw is not for the faint of heart. Lights." Sue then turned off the lights and Artie switched the projector on as the video played onto the screen whilst Kurt sat down.

"Why is this in black and white?" Sam muttered.

"Because I worship The Artist." Kurt raised a hand as he said it, hushing the blonde.

"Look at that. Unlike you misfit, ragtag stumblebums, each member of Vocal Adrenaline is in perfect sync." Sue pointed to the dancing group on the board.

"Not a step out of place." Mr. Schue said in agreement. "Okay, watch this closely, guys. It's called the Human Centipede. It's the newest, hardest show choir dance move ever invented. Incredible." He told them as the dancers did the move, Sue pointing to it.

"That actually really doesn't look that hard." Blaine mumbled, but nobody listened to him.

Marina hastily pulled out her phone.

WARBLERS AND WARBLETTE

MARINA:

The New Directions? Doomed.

SEBASTIAN:

Why?

THAD:

What happened?

MARINA:

Vocal. Adrenaline.

NICK:

Human Centipede?

JEFF:

Definitely Human Centipede.

TRENT:

Oh snap, VA get ready to meet the new and improved New Directions!

"And the cherry on top of the Vocal Adrenaline sundae is their secret weapon, Unique. Look at him/her. Poised, confident. Pretty as a picture with a booty that won't quit. It's the Unique factor that gives Vocal Adrenaline its edge." Sue said as the lights were switched back on.

"Isn't Rachel our Unique factor?" Finn asked.

"Not even close. I'm not saying that Mrs. Focker doesn't deserve a solo, but every show choir in the country has a little girl with a big nose." Sue shook her head.

Mr. Schue stopped the woman from speaking any further. "Okay, Sue."

She continued anyway. "High school judges are proven idiots. They love props, and Unique is the ultimate prop."

Puck gave Sue an unconvinced look. "Do you seriously think that we need a guy to dress in drag to win?"

Mr. Schue spoke. "No."

But Sue spoke over him. "Yes. It's the only way."