Whiskey and Scotch

Chapter 38

"Look," Lucas said as we sat down on the roof terrace, "about last night..."

"I'm sorry, Lucas, I—"

He held his hand up to stop me. "It's okay, I understand. You and Bobby started something, and I was just a little too late. I respect that you're with him, and appreciate that you gave me a chance to begin with."

I smiled as I sighed with relief. "I couldn't ignore what we had before... you deserved as much."

"The thing is, now I'm not sure what I'm doing here. Shannon and I will never be more than a friendship couple, and you're the only one in here I'm interested in."

I frowned. "What are you getting at?"

He leaned back against the balcony wall, casually stretching his arm across the back of the bench, but his intense gaze burned into me, belying his seriousness.

"I'm thinking of leaving the villa."

"What?" My jaw dropped. "But you just got back!"

He shrugged. "What's the point? I'm sure I'll just get dumped soon anyway. May as well leave on my own terms."

"Please, Lucas, don't go. If you left now, then Shannon would probably have to leave, too, and that's not fair on her."

He raised his eyebrows. "Is Shannon the only one you're concerned about?"

"No, of course not, just—you're not the only one affected if you leave."

"Do you want me to stay?"

I sucked in a sharp breath. That was the question, wasn't it? It would be easier to focus on Bobby if Lucas were gone. I had picked him, and I knew I wanted to pursue things with him, yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stamp out the "what ifs?" that went through my head every time I looked at Lucas.

"I think you should stay," I said finally. "It's a free vacation, after all."

He smirked. "That's a cop-out answer, and you know it."

"What exactly do you want from me, Lucas? We've just had the last recoupling. It's too late."

"And what about after the villa?"

"What about it?"

"Bobby's not your boyfriend. Are you still open to getting to know me better, or is that it?"

I swallowed hard. "That's... that's hardly fair, Lucas. I like Bobby, I really do. I haven't thought that far ahead, but I do want to see how things go with him. I can't keep leaving things open-ended and confusing myself. It's not fair to me, and it's hardly fair to either of you."

Lucas let out a small sigh as he looked out over the balcony, into the distance. He pursed his lips before answering. "Maybe it's best that I leave, then."

I sighed as I looked down at my hands, feeling the familiar burn of tears threatening to well up in my eyes. "Please don't," I said in a quiet voice, before looking up at him. "I want you to stay. I can't promise I'll ever be able to give you more than friendship, but I hope that will be enough."

His jaw clenched as he stared back at me, his eyes dark and intense as he considered my request. Finally his expression softened and he rose to his feet. A few steps and he was at the door, turning the handle as he looked back at me. "I'll think about it."

And then he was gone, back inside the villa, leaving me sitting the on the bench, head in my hands, wondering why I couldn't quite let him go.

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