She pulls me out of the hug and immediately I miss her presence. Missing her doesn't last long because she picks me up and carries me into my bathroom. Placing me at the edge of the tub she places a gentle kiss on my forehead before starting the bath, moving it to the hottest tempurature.
"Stand up baby" Emily says, but she it isn't demanding. It's seems as if she wants to ask me a question but is too scared to. Nonetheless I stand up like she said to.
Carefully she grabs the hem of my shirt, but doesn't take it off. Emily looks at me as if to ask for permission. I take a deep breath and nod my head. She starts to lift my shirt and I remember why I've barely let anyone see me without one.
"Wait wait stop" I say panicked and she lets go of my shirt right away.
"What wrong d-did I do something wrong baby I'm sorry" Emily says equally as panicked
"No no it's not that um" I don't know how to tell her this. I start picking at my hands, something I do when I'm anxious.
"Hey" Emily carefully grabs my hands "You don't have to tell me or show me anything you aren't ready to"
"It's not that I'm just not really sure how to tell you"
"Just say it yo-" I cut Emily off. I didn't mean to but I start rambling.
"Well um it's because um I-I'm ugly underneath Ems. I have stretch marks and scars and I'm not beautiful like you or like anyone. I don't want you to think I'm ugly but you have every right to, because I mean I-I am. And I should tell you these scars aren't just scars from the field. They're um they're s-self ha-harm scars"
"Oh baby" Emily frowns and her face is full of sympathy. "Do you um do you still" She doesn't finish her sentence, clearly uncomfortable.
"N-not really"
Emily raises her eyebrows as to ask what I mean by that.
"Nothing no I don't. I just wanted to tell you before you saw them."
The truth is I still do, just rarely. I've been able to turn other coping mechanisms but sometimes the pain is too much.
"Okay" Emily doesn't believe me. I can tell but I know she won't say anything more about it right now.
"Take it off" I say as I shut my eyes and sigh
"Are you sure"
I open my eyes and stare into hers. "Yes"
Emily lifts my shirt and I visibly cringe when I see myself in the mirror once my shirt is off. She starts to unbutton my jeans and tears fill my eyes. "You can tell me to stop at any time Y/n"
"Keep going" I whisper
She just nods and pulls my jeans off.
"And as for these" Emily traces my stretch marks, starting on my hips and tracing in between my thighs. "I think they're beautiful" I look down at her with a shocked look on my face "What"
"You heard me Baby. They are beautiful. All of you is so beautiful."
Wow. She really feels that way about me
"Every single inch of your skin is beautiful baby"
Emily moves so her mouth is right next to my ear and whispers.
"un jour je vais embrasser chaque centimètre carré de ta peau et te dire à quel point tu es belle pendant que tu gémis mon nom"
She moves back and has a grin on her face. I can only imagine what she said to me. I blush and see her eyes land on my self harms scars scattered around my body. Emily looks away for a moment as tears fill her eyes. I bring her eyes back to me by cupping her face with my hand.
"If it um makes you uncomfortable you d-don't have to s-stay" I say while stuttering. The thought of Emily leaving me right now when I need her most breaks me. Though as much as I want her to stay I won't make her.
She gently grabs my hands and holds them. Both of my hands in hers. "Y/n I am not leaving. I will never leave. I will always be her even if you don't want me to be. It just hurts to know you do-did this to yourself." Emily talks quietly but her voice is filled with passion. She means every word that has come out of her mouth.
I go to speak but there are no words I can say that will match those that she just said. She smiles and tells me it's okay as she starts taking off my bra. Emily is slow and careful, she watches my every move and studies my face. I'm guessing it's to make sure I'm really okay with this. Everytime she looks at me I nod, silently telling her to keep going.
Most words between Emily and I are unspoken, or said in another language that I don't understand. We communicate with each other through touch. Yes she says little affirmations to me whilst touching me. It is really her touch that tells me how much she lo-likes me. When we kiss, even though it is rare, it's passsionate and full of love. It says all the words we are both too frightened to say. Although I think Emily is more afraid of my reaction than she is of actually saying the words.
Emily keeps eye contact with me the whole time. Not once does she look at my breats or in between my legs. Part of me screams for her to look at them and touch them. I know I'm not ready for that though. Especially after tonight.
Once I'm fully naked I use my arms to cover myself. I've never been the most confident person. Emily sees this and pulls my arms away. At first I try to resist but eventually I give in. "Don't hide from me baby please. Your body is beautiful" I nod and move my arms so they are resting by my sides. "bonne fille" I give her a confused look and she just smirks.
"Come on Baby let's get you in the bath" Emily says as she gestures to the now filled bath full with bubbles. She grabs my hand and rests the other on my hip as she helps me into the tub. Once I am fully seated in the bath I close my eyes and enjoy the calming heat of the water. When I open my eyes Emily is walking out of the bathroom. I wave my arm towards her. "Hey" Emily stops and turns towards me "Aren't you going to join me" I ask. She looks suprised and starts walking towards the tub. "Y-you want me to join you" Emily asks slowly
"Yes"
Emily smiles and looks down at the floor before pulling off her shirt. She's wearing a black lace bra that make her breats look amazing. Emily catches me staring. "Like what you see" She says confidently. "mmhm" I say still starring "hm" Emily says as she unbottons her pants and pulls them down. As she's pulling them down she pushes her boobs together. I let out a small gasp and Emily smirks. Emily is wearing matching panties.
"God you look so beautiful Ems"
She doesn't say anything. She just comes into the bath and sits behind me.
Im sorry this is shorter than usual. I just wanted to get something out since I haven't updated in a while.
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Coming to Terms
FanfictionA story of finding self love in who you love. Y/n has struggled with sexuality all her life as she was always told liking girls was a sin. When she first steps into the BAU and locks eyes with Agent Emily Prentiss she felt something, but knew she ha...
