The Cycle of STRANGERS

• 10 •

"What do you mean?" I scratch the back of my neck, unsure of how to answer such a question. In reality, I, myself, doesn't know why I'm being so nice to a girl who clearly has no interest in me as a person. Am I really supposed to fight for a friendship or give it up?

"I've been so rude to you and yet, you're still smiling, you're still speaking and you're still," she points her arm back to the store, "waiting for me."

"Two wrongs don't make a right." I laugh; she doesn't do the same. Instead she stares at me- no... she stared into me even deeper.

"I'm sorry."

Oh, I didn't expect this.

"Don't worry about it." I say, rocking back and forth. Am I supposed to hug her right now? Am I supposed to smile? Why is talking to a girl in real life so much harder than in a film?

"No, I shouldn't have been rude to you from the first time we met; especially when I flicked you." She cringes at her actions, lowering her head.

"I definitely shouldn't have snapped at you, when you tried to tell me to eat. I shouldn't have called you a stalker. I shouldn't have rolled my eyes at you. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Sorry?" She looks up, not understanding what I'm getting at.

"Why did you do all of those things, if you knew what you were doing?" I repeat.

"I guess, at first I was truly scared you might have been a stalker. I mean it was pretty sus you showed up a week later at the same time," she chuckles dryly.

"And then you said you want to be friends, I didn't know how to take that. It was such a random suggestion, I guess I was just positive there might have been a catch to it. You might have wanted something I couldn't give you, in return. I had never met you before, you were a stranger to me. Am I supposed to let you in as a friend who could use me? Or was I supposed to distance myself?"

"Why did you make it a decision?"

"Because becoming a friend with someone is a choice I have from the start. But watching a friend leave is something I can control. The more people I let in, the more people who get the opportunity to disappoint me and walk right out. I stand by the words of Lara Jean."

"Rosal- Rosa. I can assure you now, " I grab onto her shoulders, "I won't disappoint you, I won't walk out. If we're friends, I'll leave the ball in your court. You can be the one to walk out."

Her eyes soften and her head raises fully. That sparkle returns for a while, before she clears her throat. That hope I was wishing for: the one about her loosening up, yeah I think I removed an obstacle in way of that.

Reassurance.

"Bruh, I made this so dramatic." She chuckles, weakly. I can't tell whether or not she's tired or preventing tears. Cause you know that rough feeling you get when you try to hold back everything, yet your voice gives it away, that's what she sounds like.

"Does this mean we're friends?" I smile widely. I know, I know, stupid question at the wrong time.

"Yeah?" Her eyes smiling with her mouth. "Yeah, let's give this a go."

"We can go home in peace now." I grab her hand without thinking, and swing our arms up together whilst walking down the road. Her body stumbles as I tug her along. She jerks my hand back and I bet if I hadn't have been prepared for that, I would've slipped. Thank God there's no ice.

"I agreed to a friendship, not marriage." She chuckles, slowing us down to her steady pace and unlatching our hands.

I pout, "Can't we hold hands?"