Moving On

Are you kidding me?

I was pacing back and forth staring at the clock, 11:22pm. I walked by the balcony windows a couple times, still nothing. 11:42pm.

"Ok, he's not coming. I'm going to bed." I whispered.

Just then I heard a tapping noise. Where is that coming from? *Tap, tap* window, duh! I opened the windows to my balcony and stepped out.

"Justin? Is that you?" I whispered, squinting my eyes in the dark.

"Juliet, fair Juliet, my maiden, my lover." the voice whispered back.

"Cute! You think you're funny."

"How do I get up?" Justin said.

"Shh, Justin, quiet." I scolded.

I peaked around my room making sure dad and Anna didn't hear.

"Climb up the lattice. Just watch out for thorns." i called back. 

He made his way up the side of the lattice and scooped me up into his arms hugging me as if it's been years since our last time together.

"So, explain to me why you flinch if I caress you without asking. I want to know the real reason behind your bulima, so start talking." he said as he pulled me onto the bed.

I was hesitant at first but figured the best way was to start from the beginning. When I finished everything, I looked at him intently waiting for his response. What the heck is that an earthquake? Do earthquakes exist in Tennessee? He still said nothing. So I decided to break the silence....again.

"Justin," I waited, "Are you ok?" I asked pulling myself closer to him.

Ah, now it's clear, his body felt like it was convulsing, he was shaking so bad. He never looked up at me. Never took his hands away from his hair. Are you kidding me? I bare one of my darkest times in my life and he says nothing! 

He sighed, "I gotta go Izzabelle. I'll see you at school tomorrow." he said, rather annoyed.

He kissed the top of my head and climbed out of my window and back to his truck. What the hell! He kissed my head! He bolted out of my room. You know what screw that I'm done. What is wrong with me? Ugh! My life is a soap opera. I climbed back in my bed, made sure my alarm was set, threw the covers over my head and tried to get some sleep.

The dream was so vivid, so intense it was like I could fel my legs breaking all over again. I tried to open my eyes, nothing. Just then my alarm went off scaring me out of my sleep and waking up to sweat pouring off of me. Good thing I set it early or I would go to school smelly. I started the shower and remembered Justin coming over late last night. I wonder why he never said anything. Next time, I say nothing. I got in the shower debating over what to wear to school. When I decided I was awake enough I shut the water off and got out.  I blow dried my hair, straightened it and decided on giving myself a poof at the crown. Once that was perfected I did my make-up and walked over to my closet.

"Alright, I know it's in here somewhere." I said to myself. "I knew it was."

I quickly put on my leopard print mini skirt and settled on my black corset to match. I pulled out my black wedges and strapped them on and called out for Anna to get ready.

"Alright, Izz but I'm already together." Anna said opening her door.

She walked out and glanced at each other and busted up laughing.

"Well, I guess the twin telepathy works with fashion too huh?" Anna said giggling.

"I guess so." I replied.

She had her leopard print skirt on too but with the red corset and wedges instead of black.

"So, is Blake getting you again this morning?" I asked her as we made our way to the kitchen.

"Yeah, Justin's not getting you?" she replied sheepishly.

"Justin" I snorted and remembered she had no idea what that meant. "No Anna I don't think he is." I smiled back.

I heard a horn blow and she kissed my cheek before bounding out the door. I took a second glance at myself and thought twice about changing but remembered there was a purpose for the clothes and then grabbed my keys and walked out the door. I stepped inside the civic and cranked it, nothing. What the heck? I tried again, still nothing. Awe man! I really don't want to drive my truck, it's to flashy.

"Come on please! I promise Anna will drive you soon."

Still nothing. She probably left a door partially open and killed the battery. Shit! I went back inside and grabbed my keys to my truck and hit the button to open the garage. I pulled the slip cover off and stared at my metallic blue SSR. I haven't driven this truck since my mom died, my dad never pushed the issue either. He just bought me another truck and towed it here and parked it in the garage casually leaving the keys on the hook until I was ready.

I inhaled deeply and got in the truck. I cranked it and listened to the engine. I pressed on the gas and heard the glass packs echo in the closed in garage. I adjusted the mirrors, let the top down and cranked up the radio. Good Charlette's 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous' was playing. Wow! I forgot I had that CD. I chucked it out the truck and settled on a country station and off to school I went. I pulled into the parking lot and turned some heads, figured I would. Stupid truck I'm trading it in.

"Dang girl! Nice ride. Wanna take me for a spin?" some blonde haired guy with blue eyes said. Sure I would have maybe glanced at him longer had I not had a boyfriend, stupid Justin.

"Sure, hun, maybe later on." I said back and then walked off to find Anna.

She wasn't in her usual spot with Blake so I had to retrack and go back to the courtyard. There she was sitting on a bench, alone. That's never good.

I ran over to her, "Anna, are you ok?"

"Yes, why?" she asked looking at me strange.

"I just didn't see Blake with you." I said questionably.

"Oh, he's with Justin in his truck. Justin called him when we reached the lot so I figured it was a two way conversation and decided to sit out here." she said with a shrug.

"Well, with that said, your civic is dead."I stared at her.

"Oh, shit Izz, I'm sorry. Does that mean.." I cut her off.

"Yes, I drove the SSR." I replied with a little bit of heat in my voice.

I know she was sorry and as much as I wanted to be angry it felt good to dirve it again especially knowing that when I pulled into the lot Justin was there.