Demons ━ Bucky Barnes [1]

09 ━ PAST LIVES

  Andrea forced herself to continue past the lump in her throat. "A lot of it is hazy, but I remember you and Bucky so clearly─ and I remember that," she paused as her eyes stung with fresh tears, "When we were together, the world seemed so much better. You and Bucky were always taking care of me, and we always had each other's back."

  Andrea felt Steve release a shaky breath, and the sound tore at her heart. This was hurting him just as much as it was her. After all, had it been Steve in her position, she would have felt the same. But, even as painful as this was, she still had to get the words out.

  Andy felt her grip on Steve tighten as she continued, "I don't want to lose you again." She felt her heart writhing in her chest. The reality of having lost everything she ever cared for was still fresh in her memory and it terrified her. More tears were quick to form and, for a while afterwards, the pair could only sit in silence; mourning once again.

  As the minutes came and went, Andy found herself unable to bear the grief any longer. "How long was I out?" She asked, mustering up the strength to pull away from the comfort of her best friend's arms. Andy wiped the remaining tears from her face, erasing the last evidence of her sadness.

  But, no amount of effort could erase the cavity etched deep inside her chest.

  The Rogers man shifted on the bed, sitting himself across from her. "Four days," Steve replied softly, though Andy noted that he wouldn't meet her eyes. "The doctors had to put you into a medically induced coma." Taking advantage of his averted gaze, Andy let her head fall.

  She took a deep breath; willing herself to push aside her emotions, making room for sense and rationality. Just as HYDRA had taught her to do. Andy felt every muscle coil in response. How could she have already forgotten?

  "Steve─" Andrea choked on fear, but the beginnings of the question had already left her lips.

  Terror shot through her as she realized that there was no way she could admit her past to him. Not yet. If she were to ask him about HYDRA now─ and with no apparent reason─ it would only draw suspicion. What would his reaction be if he found out that the very organization he once fought against was he same one Andrea had unwillingly been a part of?

  Steve had always been caring and understanding, but she could no longer be sure of how far those emotions extended for her. And was she willing to risk it? Would she be able to stand losing him like that?

  In spite of all the questions that seemed to leave her taut with panic, there was only one that stuck out most to her; could she tell him the truth?

  With a start, Andy realized that answer was no. She closed her mouth and looked up at the Rogers man, knowing that he had always been her strength, and forced a false smile. "Never-mind, it's nothing," she amended.

  Was it really a lie if she never mentioned it to begin with? Or was that merely a disguise for the guilt she felt?

  Andy shoved the feeling down. Instead, she turned her attention to the window, watching as the sun began to rise. From the corner of her eye, she could tell that Steve had something more to say. But, she was thankful that the sound of the door opening stopped him.

  The pair turned to watch as Director Fury walked in, a familiar intensity to his features. Andy nodded in greeting before glancing over at Steve, whose expression had fallen. He'd never been fond of Fury and Andy could only assume it was because of their boss' overwhelming amount of secrecy and security.

  There had always been a certain atmosphere to the Director; one that made you wonder whether or not he was keeping something from you. Andrea had come to learn not to mistake that feeling for mistrust. But, it seemed to her that Steve hadn't figured that out himself yet.