Shot In The Dark [Book 1]

0.9 - It's Worth It

She studies my every move and I feel as though she wants to congratulate me on my decision to not smoke tonight. I want her to congratulate me.

I remember back in Australia, the older kids at school would smoke outside the building, right beside the doors. Every time I saw Margo pass them, she would crinkle her nose in disgust and pick up her pace as if the smoke would follow her.

I could tell it bothered her, she just never said anything.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asks, scanning every inch of my face as if it's her first time seeing me.

"Anything, it doesn't matter." I shrug, silence following my sentence like a rainbow after rain.

"Do you miss Australia?" She finally whispers and I'm shocked at her interest in something other than the situation that occurred tonight.

"Sometimes, but I'm living my dream right now so I'm a bit conflicted. What about you, would you go back if you got the chance?" I stretch my legs out down the steps and she sighs, almost as if she's been waiting for this type of question.

"I feel like I would, but I don't want to go back to that life. That house." She begins pulling on the stray string on her pants. "I just wish I didn't have to leave everyone behind, y'know?"

She pulls her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"I understand what you mean." I nod, confirming that she's not alone in her feelings. I look over at her, only to notice that she's already looking back at me. "You miss the people and the place, but not the hardships that came with being there."

A small smile appears on her face, causing my stomach to form a knot.

"It was all so unexpected, the call, the fame, the moving. I just want to take a few steps back." She explains further and I simply watch her, only wanting to listen. "It sucks how everyone sees me as some untouchable force. 'Margo, the girl that has it all at such a young age. All the boys, money, and happiness.'" She looks away from me, staring at the ground now. "I just want to be Margo. Only Margo."

"That's how they try to describe us," I shrug softly, pulling her attention back to me. "They push a womanizer image onto Harry and Luke, they also make people think that Ashton and Liam are the dads of the groups." I explain our situation to her, my voice barely above a whisper.

"What about you?"

"They brush me off to the side, I guess. It's always all about them while Niall, Louis, Zayn, Mikey and I are pushed to the side until we're needed." I'm now staring at my shoes, scared that I'll push her away with telling her this.

"The band wouldn't be what they are without you guys, I hope you know that. Each of you play a big role in what the bands are, no matter what the public thinks." She quietly reassures me, placing her hand on my arm. "Besides, it's not everyday you find a guy that's an amazing bassist."

"Yeah, and it's not everyday you find a teenage girl that can do nearly anything." I smile, sending a compliment her way as well.

"I can't ride a bike." She informs me and my jaw drops.

"Now you're just pulling my leg. Are you serious?" I laugh and she presses her lips together, trying to contain her laughter.

"Swear it," She looks at me intently. "I never learned."

I let out a loud laugh, tossing my head back as the noise rings through the brisk air.

"Hey, don't laugh at me, I'm serious." She pouts and I try to stop laughing, only failing at the attempt. "This is bullying."

"Fine," I wipe the tears from my eyes, looking at her. "I'll make you a deal. If there's only one thing you allow me to teach you in the short amount of time we know each other, it's how to ride a bike."

"Short time?" She furrows her eyebrows in confusion as if she planned to be in my life much longer. "You aren't thinking about dropping me before we reach the many lifetimes after this, are you?"

"Many lifetimes? As in, you believe there's more than one?" I question her choice of words and she smiles at me sympathetically.

"Definitely. The love our souls hold for things that are so small is far too strong to only stretch across one lifetime. Therefore, we're blessed with many." She explains and I feel a fluttery feeling in my stomach. "That's where soulmates come into the picture. The connection two souls have is far too powerful for one lifetime."

"If you believe all of this, why are you always doing things as if it's your last day on this earth? Like, if you know you're going to come back in another form, why bother wasting energy in this one?" I ask, wanting to learn more about the way she thinks.

Not because I don't agree with her, I do, I just love listening to her talk about things she loves.

It reminds me of the sound of a child's laugh or watching a puppy get it's first treat. Pure happiness, in it's rawest form.

"Why do you give your all when you perform? Because nothing is holding you back from making it an amazing memory." She smiles, her eyes nearly brighter than the moon itself. "I like to live as though this is my last ever lifetime, mainly because I want stories to tell in the next one. It would be boring if my soul had many chances to take adventures to the next level but backed down because I'm scared."

She's looking at me now, wonder and admiration in her eyes. "That's why I'll always encourage things that make your heart beat faster than usual. Not because I like to see you freak out, but because I like to see you fall in love with living."

She lies down on the porch, placing her hands onto her stomach.

"Have you fallen in love with living?" I ask honestly, genuinely curious about the potential answer.

"Not yet," She breathes out, almost as if she's letting go of the past. "I've had a few set-backs, but I don't mind. Unexpected things happen sometimes, like soulmates not ending up together or rain happening during a wedding. That's what makes life exciting. There's always things happening all around us and we choose to do with it as we please. There's always tomorrow."

"What if tomorrow never comes? I mean, what if you only have today and this is your last chance to make your life what you've always wanted it to be? What then?" I ask, watching as she sits up, her eyes on me as she does so.

"Then I'll die knowing that today I'm not the same person I was yesterday. I'll die with memories instead of dreams. I'll die with more things crossed off on my check list rather than planned on my bucket list." She looks up at the sky, as if she wants to be up there next to the stars. "Besides, if I were to die then someone would hear my story and think 'wow, she was right. I should start living right now instead of later.' While another person will think of all the ways they would've loved me."

She turns back to me and I can't help but think about how I could love her. She wouldn't doubt her worth a single time.

"It's all just a big plan though." She shakes her head. "No one ever really does what they say they will."

I suck in a deep breath before finally saying something.

"What if we do it all?" I ask, causing her to furrow her eyebrows and smile.

"Do what?"

"All of it. What if we make a list and take a shot at everything on it." I explain further.

"I don't know, are you sure you're ready for that type of life?" She wears a smug expression and I smile.

"It's worth taking a shot, is it not?" I respond and hold out my hand for her to shake, causing her to sigh.

"It'll be a shot in the dark," She informs me, finally taking my hand into hers and shaking it. "But its worth it."