Spells and Handcuffs (Remus Lupin)

Uncontrollable

I saw the shock register on his face before he could hide it. Then Remus turned silently to Sirius to confirm my words. My uncle nodded.

"In what ..." he started to ask me, but then stopped. "No, no, no. Forget it. I will not put any of you in danger. I've been doing it alone for the last 13 years, and I'll keep doing it" Not waiting for a retort, he left us with a sharp turn. Remus walked past me without looking. Seconds later, I heard a door open and close.

"Did he leave?" I asked my uncle as my voice trembled for a moment. I hoped my uncle hadn't sensed my anxiety, overwhelmed by his own emotions.

"No, he wouldn't do it, no matter how angry he is. He must be in his room."

"Should I try to talk to him?"

"Try it, but he's always been so stubborn. And with this self-pity of his has always made me angry "and with a sigh, Sirius stretched out on the couch.

I reached Remus's room, my heart pounding in my chest. I knocked.

"Padfoot, get out." I heard a muffled voice from the room.

"It's me, please let me in."

I heard movement inside, and seconds later Remus had opened the door wide. "Last time you didn't need permission to enter." A slight smile appeared on his lips. "Come in, but if Sirius sent you to dissuade me, you're wasting your time."

"He didn't send me, and I don't want to dissuade you. As much as I've known you for a while, I've known how stubborn you are. " I replied, entering the room and closing the door behind me. The moment the words fell from my mouth, I was left mortified. Did I really offend him just now? My black eyes nervously darted over to see his reactions as a pair of amber eyes stared back, filled with mirth. I swallowed for a moment, realizing we were alone in his bedroom. And we are just a short distance from each other. Remus stood maybe around 8 inches away from me, his eyes, darker than usual, piercing me. For a moment he seemed to lean toward me with the idea of shortening the distance between us, but the next moment he had turned and stood near the window. How stupid I was. What did I imagine?

"If being stubborn means of keeping my friends safe. All right, so be it. " he began fiercely. "Let's help Remus. Let's help the old stupid werewolf. I don't want your help or pity. You both want this to be your next reckless adventure tomorrow, but guess what? My final answer is No. The apple obviously doesn't fall far from the tree. You're wasting your time." His eyes flashed angrily. The playfulness in them was gone.

I didn't like his tone. Anger began to rise in my chest. He didn't seem to understand why it wasn't a coincidence that my name was Ashling. I could turn into a fire for a second and turn everything behind me into ashes. I took a few wide steps toward him,  slapped him on the chest, making him grunt slightly, and pushing away a bit.

"Listen! Stop thinking that people constantly feel sorry for you. Your friends are your friends, not out of pity for the werewolf man, but out of admiration and love for the man. I will not dissuade you from whether or not you want to put us in danger." White knuckles from clenching my fist too hard exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent. " But I want you to look at Sirius's perspective. He has been sitting locked in this house since we arrived in London. It's like he's in Azkaban again. And right now you're refusing him one of his little opportunities to go out and feel useful again. " I continued with a lot of anger in my voice. "You think everything is about you, but guess what? The answer is No. You're swimming in your own self-pity and you obviously don't see that your friends need you as much as you need them. Stop being selfish and let your friends BE actually your friends" I shouted at him breathlessly.

I began to breathe shallowly and rapidly in order to regain my composure. All too quickly, it was over as I caught his eyes flick suddenly towards me detecting the anger there. The air in the room was thick and heavy as I had not been this close to Remus in such a way. Then I held my breath and waited to see what he would do.

"I'm stubborn, right?" Remus breathed as his lips were so dangerously close. He stared at me, his eyes flickering between my own and my lips. He was inches away. Time seemed to have stopped. The moment I thought he was going to turn around again, he grabbed me by the waist and put his lips on mine roughly. I couldn't remember the last time I was kissed and forgotten how nice it could be when the man knew how. I was lost in him and yielded to him for a heartbeat. I replied with the same persistence as if my body was just waiting for this. I hugged him tighter, returning his kiss passionately. He groaned into my mouth. I could feel his hands moving on my back and waist. I could feel his lips on mine, I could feel his tongue intertwined with mine. He tasted like dark chocolate, tea, and forest. I felt my legs sag, but his hands held me close to him.

He pulled away a moment later. Our breaths were load, his face was shocked. I couldn't tell it is from regret or something else. "Don't stop," I said to him and leaned closer. He didn't wait for a second invitation. He pulled me back to him, turning me to sit on the desk. My legs wrapped around his torso, my fingers running from his hair to his chest, wanting to pull him even closer to me. His kisses became more passionate and insistent. His lips parted from mine and headed to my neck. A sigh of pleasure slipped from my mouth and I felt him smile against my neck.

Just as his lips moved further down and I thought my heart was going to explode, there was a knock on the door. For a split second, we both pulled away from each other, with a shock written on both our faces. Remus pulled me off the desk, and I managed to quickly clean my own lipstick from his lips. We both quickly straightened our clothes and hair.

"Come in," Remus said, taking one last look to see if I looked innocent enough and at a decent distance from him. I sat in a chair near the fireplace, trying to look completely casual.

Sirius came, looked at us, and to my relief, he didn't suspect anything unordinary when he said: "Moony, I'm in no condition to argue. We will do, whatever you want." and my uncle opened both of his hands wide in an attempt to reconcile.

"I apologize, too." Remus hugged him, keeping his eyes on me. When he stepped back a moment later he continued: "To both. During the full moon, I become uncontrollable. " He gave me a quick glance, which made me smile slightly. "Actually, Sirius, you can try to come with me as before. But even with the slightest danger, I want you to escape as quickly as possible. "

A wide smile spread across Sirius's face. He clapped his hands. "Has Ash convinced you? Did she use any of her spells? "

"Something like that, " Remus chided playfully, but a tone of seriousness underscored his meaning.

Sirius invited us to the door to leave the room together. The three of us walked down the stairs. My uncle, almost jumping over a step of excitement, Remus and I walked side by side, and we were both happy about Sirius's enthusiasm.

"Ash can come, too." my uncle said. "Still, her Animagus form would help a lot. She could beat us both if she wanted to. "

"What is your Animagus form? "

"Guess what," I said playfully to Remus.

"Bear. "

"Bear? Do I look like a bear? "I slapped him on the shoulder.

"Sirius's description was something big and strong," Remus said in a laugh.

"You'll see," I smiled and jumped from behind on my uncle's neck. He swayed for a moment but managed to pick me up. He threw me on his shoulder and ran with me to the kitchen.