"I'm glad we can be in the same room as each other without someone shouting or crying. I just reached the point yesterday where, in all honestly I walked into my bedroom and just burst into tears. It's like we're in a pressure cooker and everyone keeps adding to it. I'm surrounded by your team..."
"My team?"
"It's not a bad thing. Ollie, Gareth and Liv love you so much. But the truth is I'm on your side as well but I feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy in all this. Everyone's talking about us and I feel like we've almost lost control of our relationship."
"I know. What do you want to do, is it easier to walk away now and just pretend nothing happened?"
"That's not what I want to do. I think the best thing for me to do would be to leave tonight and hopefully then we can sort things out on our own."
"You're joking."
"Right now it's just pressure after pressure, if I stayed here and more drama happened then it would do more harm than good."
"It just feels on my end like you're running away, like I'm not good enough to stay here and fight for."
"It's really not like that. I need you to understand why."
"I get that but it's still shit." I turned away to try and hide the tears building up.
"Open up Willow, tell me how you're feeling." He put his hand on my thigh.
"It's so hard to."
"I know it's hard to."
"This is so hard for me. Every time I show you how I feel then something else comes out and it knocks my confidence. Not even just you, I feel sometimes like even my friends come and go, Jamie and Alex were really my only long term friends. It's easier to not care."
"But you're lying to yourself. I know you care about me because I can feel it because I care about you. Tell me what you want."
"I don't want you to go."
"I'm doing this for us, I don't want to walk away from you."
"I like having you here."
"I like being here but when we're all happy and smiling. I care about you so much Willow and I don't want you to be upset."
"I'm just going to miss you and I'm scared that once we go back to London things will go back to how they used to be."
"I promised you in Surrey that I'd take you on a real date and I'm going to honour that promise. We will be together."
"Come here." I pulled him in for a kiss and then we stayed there for quite a while in each other's arms, watching the world go by. "If only things could always be like this."
****
The next morning Liv, Tiff and I went out in the garden to have our breakfast once again.
"Last night was so fun." Tiff said.
"It's just a shame that Tristan's gone."
"Do you think it's the right move for him to leave?"
"Well no and I told him that I didn't want him to go. But I understand why he did it and it probably is the best thing for us at the moment."
"Morning Girls." I jumped at a voice behind us as Harvey sat down next to me. "How are you doing?"
"Good thank you, how are you?"
"Good yeah."
"Are you sad your little friend left?" Liv asked.
"My tall little friend."
"You've got all of us." Tiff said. "How are you finding it with Habbs?"
"It's alright. We had a chat last night and I think the kind of conclusion of it was to put everything under the bed and try to move on. Last night was a bit odd, she got a bit drunk and got too familiar for me."
"In what way?" I asked.
"Just a bit touchy feely."
"Did you mention Emily and how it would be different if she was here?"
"I'm really bad at that. I'm too friendly sometimes and I don't shit things down when I probably should. At the end of the night she shouted for me from her room."
"Did you go in?"
"I popped my head around the door but she went into a conversation I didn't want to have."
"What was it?"
"Just opening up about the past, something I want really comfortable about but I went along with it."
"Did you shut it down?"
"I closed it off slowly. Three word answers to one word answers. I think it probably best for me to head back to London. Coming here did put me in the dog house with Emily and I do really miss her. On that note I better go get packing."
"Safe trip back."
"I think he's lying." I whispered once they'd left.
"About what?"
"When I went to bed I could hear them together and they were laughing and chatting away, he was putting all the blame onto her."
"I did think that, it takes two to tango."
"Exactly. He was constantly checking on her throughout the night, I don't know his actions scream guilty to me."
"Emily is going to be so livid when she hears his version." Tiff said.
"She'll be even more annoyed when she hears yours." Liv said to me.
****
On the way back to the cottage I saw Habbs outside so I went and sat down next to her.
"So I've just spoken to Harvey." I told her. "I guess Emily is quite on edge about this trip."
"I get that, it was actually so nice that we could sit round together and clear the air."
"Ok. It's weird because when he spoke to us he said you made him feel uncomfortable, to the point where he had to leave."
"What?! That really annoys me, I've just been speaking about how nice it was and he's been feeling uncomfortable for some reason."
"Exactly, what is there to be uncomfortable about?"
"We've just been speaking."
"I asked him what did she say to make you feel uncomfortable and he just said about going down memory Lane."
"He did that."
"I could also hear you both laughing away so he obviously wasn't that uncomfortable. He was fully involved in the conversation."
"He was fully dragging the conversation out, I was the one who wanted to go to bed. He was asking if I was happy and then talked about how he was seeing a different side to Emily."
"He shouldn't be saying things like that. Emily would be furious."
"I was in bed as well so I just had my shirt on with my pants and he wanted me to come and see the starts. I told him I couldn't and he was like it's nothing I haven't seen before. That's inappropriate."
"I think he's gone back to make sure she's heard his side of the story before yours. It screams guilty."
"That whole thing has made me so annoyed."
****Author's Note****
I hope you like this chapter.
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