Way of the Wolf: Equilibrium

Chapter 21 ~ Torn

Silence followed that statement, and though Ebbe didn't move a muscle, I felt him pull away. Something had shifted it's way between us again.

"Is that why you're afraid of me?" he asked gruffly. "Do I remind you of the wolf that took you?"

I could have screamed, instead I just sighed. "I don't remember the wolf that took me, Ebbe. And for the last time, I'm not afraid of you."

"You are. One day you'll admit that to yourself, and to me. Along with the reason why."

Shoving Ebbe's arm from around my waist, I sat up to glare down at him. He stared up at me, resignation in his expression. Of course this could only end this way.

"Why do you always have to try and start a fight?" I demanded in exasperation.

"I'm not and I don't." Ebbe pushed himself up, shaking his head as he reached out but I pulled away. "You're just too used to having to defend yourself, so you're always on the offensive."

I rolled my eyes.

"Now you just sound like my father. Not a trait you want in a bedmate, Ebbe."

"A bedmate? Is that what I am to you?" He laughed. "If you're tired of fighting, you can stop, but I admire you for not giving up on what you want. You know. . .out in the wild, wolves would follow you. They wouldn't care that you were female, only that you're fierce, and a capable leader."

"Are you trying to convince me to run away with you?" I remarked dryly.

He laughed again, blue eyes cloudy with mischief as he appraised me for a moment before getting serious. "I'm trying to convince you that having me by your side won't hinder you."

My smiled slipped and I looked up at the sky. "Ebbe-"

"I'm not used to asking for what I want, but I'm asking now, Raeghan. I could help you; I'd stand as your second, I'd watch your back. What a name you'd make for yourself, taking packs against the wishes of your council and mating feral wolves."

It was meant to be a joke, I knew that, but I didn't laugh. How could I? He was offering something my very soul was screaming at me to take but I still didn't understand why. I'd leapt over the fact he'd earlier proclaimed to have chosen me as his mate already, that the instinctual part of myself had done the same.

It was echoing what happened with my parents and their own tumultuous mating, and that set off my every need to defend.

I didn't know what it was between Ebbe and I. I wasn't ready to know. He'd made me feel alive and free for a while, that was all I'd wanted, wasn't it? To feel close to someone when I felt so alone far away from home. Ebbe, whom I'd only known for a matter of months, somehow knew my weaknesses and fears better than anyone. He'd helped me and I'd felt understood on a deep level. . . then things simply went too far.

Torn and confused, and too exhausted to fight, I wanted to scream at the stars. Every doubt I had about myself and my life cane flooding back from where Ebbe had managed to hide me from them. New ones came unbidden as well.

He said he wanted me but for how long? What if he grew tired? He spoke of fate and mates but how could he be sure? What would it even take for him to prove that he wouldn't challenge my position?

And the truth was hard to swallow too, that I too much out of reach, too much on the defensive, to ever really trust him. Or anyone.

Fisting my hands against my eyes to try and stop them from stinging, my head began to pound.

"Are you crying?"

I shook my head, wiping my eyes quickly and rolling away from him. Warriors and Alphas definitely didn't cry over some male.