I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Sixty One

"Alright Harry, go on." Ron says, eagerly waiting for Harry to take the Felix Felicis.

I'm excited too, I haven't experimented with many potions before. So It'll be cool to see how it affects the taker, even if I only get to see for a few minutes at most before he has to go.

Harry stares at the vile for a few seconds. He finally opens it up then pours it into his mouth while tilting his head back to get every last drop.

"Well?" Hermione asks. He grins at her.

"Harry, how do you feel?" I ask anxiously.

"Brilliant!" He jumps up off the sofa and begins to pace around the room. "On second thought I'd like Gab to come with me." He exclaims. Hermione, Ron and I exchange concerned looks.

"That's not the plan, Harry. We mustn't get off task." Hermione says.

"Oh come on! It'll be fine!" He links his arm with mine giving me some major butterflies at his touch. Hermione and Ron look at each other one more time.

"Alright." Hermione says reluctantly.

"Brilliant!" Harry says dragging me out of the room bye my arm.

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"Harry slow down I can't keep up with you." I say sternly as we walk through the halls, heading to wherever Slughorn usually is at this time. I don't actually know where we are going since I hadn't started helping them until a few days ago.

"Oh I'm sorry love." He responds carelessly. My heart hurts at the sound of the pet name. He seems so happy, I can't remember the last time that he was this positive. I like this side of him, it just makes me sad to know it took a potion to get him this happy and lighthearted. "You know you have the most beautiful eyes, Gab." He says. I smile at him, I can't help but feel the same way I did when he would compliment me while we were together.

"Thank you." I say.

"No problem. Hey I just wanted to say that I don't want anything to change between us." He says, like that's possible. Things are already ruined.

"Well I think we've done a good job of being friends again so far." I say.

"Yeah, friends." He says with a sarcastic tone. As if being friends isn't good enough for him, I swear he's going to be the death of me. First you break up with me without any reason, now you want to be more than friends? Just chose one! "Gab, could you go to Hagrid's? I have a feeling that we should go and there's a slight possibility he's not there. In which case you should come back here and tell me, but if he's there you can just wait for me." He says.

"Harry, no. We have to stay on task." I remind him.

"Oh Gabriella, smart little-" He taps my nose with his finger before continuing, "-uptight Gabriella."

"Hey! I'm not-"

"Just go to Hagrid's." He interrupts while putting his hand on my shoulder "I'll be there soon, don't worry." Now I get why Hermione was the one that was supposed to go with him. I can't say no.

"Fine." I retort. His smile grows largely after I agree to going, this is ridiculous. I have a feeling all of this is going to go horribly wrong.

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I've been visiting with Hagrid now for a while. Waiting for Harry to show up with Slughorn. I keep peeking over to the door to see if he's there, each time I get more disappointed when I don't see him with his bright smile.

Hagrid offered me some tea, it's rather sweet for my taste but it's still good.

"Oi! Ello there Harry, Professor." Hagrid shouts at the doorway. I whip my head around to see the two of them entering. Harry winks at me, I roll my eyes.

"Hello there Hagrid!" Harry joyfully says as he sits with me. He taps my shoulder to get my attention then looks up at both adults. "Excuse us for one moment please." He says standing up, I have no choice but to follow him out of the hut.

It's now dark and the only thing providing us light is the moon and the light coming from Hagrid's. I cross my arms "What is it Harry? You need to go collect your memories or whatever before the potion wears off." I say as if he seems to care. He looks like he's got something much more important to him on his mind.

He opens his mouth to say something but I can see his mind change quickly. He reaches for my hand and I let him hold it, stupidly. He leans down and begins to kiss me. I quickly move my hands up to his chest to push him away but I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel so guilty, he told me that he couldn't handle a relationship. But he's also the one snogging me.

For a moment I don't feel bad at all though, I am reminded for the countless amount of times we could do this whenever we wanted and it didn't even matter. We were together, now we're not. I wish I could've known when my last kiss as a couple was going to be with him, because I sure as hell know it wasn't as good as this one.

I get a wave of regret suddenly and decide to finally push him off of me and act like I didn't enjoy it. "Harry, what are you doing?" I demand.

"What do you mean? We both know that there are mutual feelings here." He says in a more innocent tone than I expected. I almost forgot that he was still on liquid luck.

"I can't do this, Harry. You really hurt me, I don't know if I'll be able to go back to the things were. Especially after this." I begin, he looks a little taken back "I get that you're using the Felix Felicis and all, but you can't keep playing with my emotions like this. I haven't gone one day since we broke up without playing it over and over in my head, telling myself I acted foolish for not begging for you to stay. But now it's like, why even bother?"

"Gab-"

"Is this just going to become a cycle? Every time that you get too much pressure put on you, you decide it's time to push me away and let everyone else in! You don't understand the mental toll this has taken on me. I can't function without you, not even as my boyfriend but as my best friend. I can't think when you're standing next to me, Harry." I hadn't realized how close I had stepped to him while talking so I take a step back from him. He looks at a loss of words. "It was bloody selfish of you to try something like that."

It's the fact that he thinks he can go about however he wants without even taking my feelings into consideration that gets me upset. Because I really did enjoy the kiss whether I want to admit it or not.

I'm so infuriated with him right now, I know for a fact that my face must be red. I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him. I want to be done with him, he can go on his little mission all by himself.

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If you're wondering why Hermione and Ron agreed to letting Harry go with Gabriella instead so fast it's because of the Felix Felicis. That's also why Gabriella didn't push Harry away so fast.