Problem Solving

Too Afraid

"Okay but don't look"

"Don't look?" I smile, she looks at me unamused "really?"

"Yes really it makes it gay."

"Well we can't be having that.." I sympathise. Sometimes I do feel guilty for putting all this mental burden of sexuality on her. But then I remember that it's her as much as it's me, and I do the best I can to make it easier for her. "I'll get you some clothes"

"Thanks..". I get her one of her shirts. She has quite a lot of clothes here, I like that she does because it makes us more real. But I'm scared more real equals catching feelings. "You should text your sister, see how it's going"

"What, and interrupt her first time?" I kinda laugh "I don't think she'll stop to check her phone"

"They'll be done by now surely, it's late. If you don't text her I will." She makes me smile

"That's cute." I give her her clothes "I'll text her and not look whilst you dress."

"Thank you"

"You're welcome. Even though your body is the fucking hottest I've ever seen." I take my phone from the side. I always have it on silent when I'm with Lizzy, it's so I can enjoy my time with her better.

"You're just saying that" she smiles, I shake my head

"I promise I'm not. Anyway, shan't look." I go onto my phone and head to messages "what do I even say to her? We make an effort not to talk about sex.."

"Just ask her how it's going. Me and my sister talk about sex all the time.... well not all the time, she doesn't know that we fuck. She knows you're my friend but she doesn't know how... how close we are" she explains, I smile

"We are pretty close.."

'Me: hey how's it going'

"She probably won't reply right away.." I mumble, going onto Instagram. Jess has sent me a few memes so I just go like a few of them. Then I see the message notification come down so click on it

'Laf: that hurt like fuck.' She makes me smile

"She said it hurt like fuck" I tell Lizzy, looking at her because I can make out she's fully dressed

"It does the first few times" she makes a face "in fact it's pretty shit until then."

"Yeah I remember the feeling" I wince.. gross.

'Me: was it 💦 enough?'

'Laf: I can't believe u just asked that'

I laugh, Lizzy looks at me to ask what. I show her the texts.. she smiles

"You're dirty, go easy on her she's clearly insecure.."

"She can take it. Besides, maybe I'll be able to incorporate some sexual openness in our relationship"

"What, by forcing her?" She mocks

"You make me sound bad.. tell me about you and your sister" I say, opening the bedroom door

"She's one of my favourite people ever, you know.. I grew up with her, and it's not the same without her." She tells me, leading the way downstairs. I love how at home I've been able to make her feel.

"You're older than her aren't you?" I ask, even though I already know. I just want her to go into more detail.

"I am but only by two years, she feels my age. I see her when the schools break up, but.."