You Almost Got Away

"The endings won't end you"

After losing Trevor, I felt an emptiness inside me again. It's not like he made me full because even though he changed the way I lived for a bit; he still wasn't enough and I knew that. I don't know if someone or something will ever be enough for me, and that honestly scares me.

Trevor served as a mere replacement. He was kind of that cup of coffee you have to squeeze in, in order to make up for the hours of sleep you missed the night before. It sounds stupid, but that's what he was. It wasn't a bad thing though, he made me forget about all my problems. I forgot about how messed up my family is, because suddenly it didn't matter. I could feel like shit about my parents arguing, but at the end of my shitty day, I had Trevor. I had the comfort of his arms around me, making me forget about the pain I felt. He made me feel like a normal 18 year old. He made me happy, even if it was only for a bit.

Nonetheless, I don't think I could ever regret him. He got me out of a really dark place and I want to thank him for that, but I also want to hate him for just walking out of my life when I still needed him.

"Hey Lyn, I brought you a donut and a big cup of coffee, of course." I feel Skye's arms around my back one Friday morning.

"Thank you...but you really need to stop spending your money on me" I sigh.

"How are you?" Skye wonders as she sits next to me. She's been asking me this ever since that day. To be fair, she asked me this before Trevor too, but now it's almost in a different tone. Like she knows I'm sad, like she knows that I'm lying every time I say "I'm fine" but there's nothing she can really do to help me.

"We need to go somewhere fun. It kills me seeing you all sad and depressed" I turn to Skye's big blue puppy eyes, feeling bad for me.

"I'm not depressed" I laugh, "I'm just not in the mood to go out, nothing different." I'm obviously still not over Trevor. If this is how attached I got to my first boyfriend, I don't even want to know what real love will be like.

"Ok, well if you change your mind... let me know" she winks.

"Everlyn... can I talk to you?" Peter Collins approaches our table, nervously fixing his wavy hair.

"Umm sure" I smile confused.

"Well I'll catch you after school hun." Skye squeezes my shoulder as she gets up, I know she'll be asking me a million questions later.

"What's up" I turn to Peter, trying to remain calm even though he makes me really nervous for some reason. I move my cup of coffee and donut in front of me, cleaning up the spot next to me so he can sit.

"I.. I heard about Trevor." He settles down.
"It's not like everyone's heard about it, but you know...."

"Yea I guess" I reply. I suspected most guys would know, that's just the way it is. Guys always talk about the girls they're with, the girls they fuck, or the ones they're planning to fuck. I especially expected Peter Collins to know. Him and Trevor are friends, or I think they must be because I see them talking a lot.

"He's an asshole you know? Guys like him will always be assholes. They think High school is this kingdom or some shit they need to rule... they think they're always gonna have their stupid little fame they have here, but they don't know shit about ruling..." he trails off when he notices my confused expression.

"Do you know about ruling" I smirk.

"No" He replies too fast. "I mean, I meant that more as a metaphor but.."

"But you're the wrestling team captain" I giggle.

"Never mind what I said" he looks down at the table, appearing almost angry.

I suddenly feel bad for ruining his speech "you want some?" I shyly offer my breakfast.

"If you don't mind" he smiles as he reaches for the cup of coffee. I notice a large purple bruise in his bicep, it looks very painful and I have to stop myself from reaching over and touching it. It's probably from wrestling I decide to tell myself.

"Ugh... you think this is good coffee?!" He makes an adorable disgusted face.

"Skye bought it for me!" I laugh at his expression.

"No, you need to learn about real coffee" his eyes go wide with excitement. "Have you been to Dream Bean before?"

I laugh at the name. "No, Is that in the city?"

"It's a 30 minute drive, a small town nearby." He explains.

"Sounds nice." I take a sip from my coffee. I hate to admit it, but it is pretty shitty.

I suddenly feel brave, I don't know what overcomes me as I hear myself say "we should go... you know, so you can show me real coffee?"

His hazel eyes observe the floor for a while, and I regret asking him. He's probably finding a nice way to say no, what the fuck was I thinking? I'm just trying to be someone I'm not after everything that happened with Trevor. Plus after what happened that night between Peter and I, when he consoled me in his porch, this is probably just bizarre for him.

His dark eyebrows furrow before I finally decide to say something. "I understand if you can't, you're probably busy all the time. I was just"-

"I'm down" he turns his gaze at me. I'm taken aback at how amazing it feels to have his caramel eyes directly on me. He makes me so nervous, yet I want him looking at me all day.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let's go, it'll be my treat of course." He softly smiles giving me butterflies in my stomach.

Butterflies? Oh shit. What did I get myself into?

"Here, give me your number so we can plan it." He orders, handing me his phone.

I can sense the famous "Peter Collins confidence" every girl swoons over, and I'm unexpectedly loving it.

The first period bell rings.

"I'll see you later?" He stands up.

I nod my head.

"Goodbye Everlyn." He gives me a smile before walking away.

Did Peter Collins just ask me out on a date? Unless it wasn't a date. He probably just feels bad for me. I'm the poor naïve girl who got dumped by Trevor Miller.

Sudden guilt takes over me, Peter is Trevors' friend. They may not be close friends but they're both in the wrestling team, Peter is his captain. Trevor will probably think I'm only doing this to get back at him, if he even cares.

He'll never find out, it's just a fun date I tell myself.

I look down at my choice in fashion: a black oversized hoodie I stole from Mason and black leggings. My hair is not even combed, and I'm wearing no makeup; I can't remember the last time I did.

I really choose the perfect days to look like utter shit.

This could be a good thing, I try to be positive. I can finally get out of this weird "sad bubble" I'm in.

And who knows, maybe something good can come out of it too.