twenty-first ➵ lrh (eng)

three

the third moment i want t remember was about three weeks later. me and luke had now become friends. i later found out that he had almost twenty years and i was still seventen, so i would always feel so small when i was with him. also because he was so tall and i was rather short.

he told me to cancel every plan and be with him all afternoon. i told him i would see what i could do, even if i didn't have anything planned to do. he came to my house at four o'clock, my dad asked if he was my boyfriend, he was kind of excited because he'd often say that i didn't have to be always on my own.  he later added that he was a very handsome boy. my dad and i were used to be open with each other. he knew that i could be trusted because i was a rather responsible teenager, and i knew that he only meant to do good for me.

luke was wearing a hoodie, a different one this time, with the logo of some band i didn't know.

"i'm sorry but i couldn't do better" he said showing me his car.

i laughed looking at that piece of metal that was basically falling apart. "where are we going?" i said while sitting on the passenger seat.

"you'll see" he said. he started the car and it made a very awful noise. if i didn't spend almost everyday with him, by that time i would have been creeped out. "we're gonna die, aren't we" i said looking at the road.

when he said it was a surprise i surely didn't expect that we would end up in an abandoned house. "that's even worse than i thought" i said. "you're nuts, luke, i'm not going in there."

"don't worry i'm with you" he said heading to the house.

"no." i stated. "it could be hunted, there could be murderers,  the roof might crash onto u.." i was interrupted by his hand catching mine. he never held my hand before. a strange feeling rushed my entire body, not to mention that my cheeks turned red. "you're cold" he said as he took both of my hands in his, blowing hot air onto them. when he was done, he still held one of my hands.

i was too shocked to protest, so i just followed him into the empty house.

"this is my special place" he said.

and it was really special. it wasn't special for the drawings and the posters that he hanged on the wall. i wasn't special for the lyrics of the songs written on the torn wallpaper. it was special because his eyes would shine whenever he was there. it was special because he brought me there and nobody else. it was special because he held my hand for the first time there.

"why did you bring me here, luke?" i asked, a couple of hours later. we were sitting side by side watching over a window that faced a beautiful garden.

"because you're a special person." he said. he was always so straight when he spoke and i really loved that about him. i was comfortable with him now. it almost seemed like i had found my place. i knew that i wasn't alone anymore, because no matter what luke would have always been by my side. while i was thinking that i felt warm inside. he gave me confidence.

i only wish that it still was true to this day.

i never said that he was special too. you may think it's nothing, but i regret it every day. i regret every thing i didn't say, because he deserved every word. but in life you don't catch every chance, unfortunately.

_

i turn around and face the house behind me. it almost seems like there still are two figures behind the window, sitting side to side. i can still see me and luke talk about everything and ask the most absurd questions . i can still feel the warmth of his body and his calm breath.

because in the end, me and luke we never left the house that afternoon. we're still sitting side to side feeling like we're infinite, forever.