150 Things Portgas D. Ace is NOT allowed to do

Rules #61-75

61.) You may NOT wander around nude off-ship.

Ace: But it gets SO hot!

Izou: The heat literally doesn't bother you...

Ace: Shush!

62.) NOR may you run around naked on the deck. You scarred poor Haruta and Namur for life.

Ace: It's not like they could see my junk! I covered it with my hat!

Namur: We still saw way more than we ever wanted too....Watch out for Haruta, he's hunting you down...

Haruta: DEATH!!!

Ace: Ummm, I'm gonna need to take a leave of absence Marco...

Marco: Denied.

63.) You can NOT go into battle in your birthday suit.

Ace: But it's the perfect surprise attack!! They're too shocked to attack right away!!

Fossa: And we're too shocked to attack either.

64.) Not even on your birthday.

Ace: >:(

65.) NO MORE visiting enemy ships naked.

Ace: But what if I'm visiting a lady friend.

Izou: NO! We do not need to hear about your sexual conquests!!

Ace: Technically you'll be reading it.

Marco: That's even worse, yoi.

66.) YOU ARE NO LONGER PERMITTED TO BE NAKED ANYWHERE BUT THE SHOWERS.

Ace: Not even to go skinny dipping?!?!

Izou: Especially not since you. Can. Not. Swim!!

Ace: That's beside the point!!

67.) STOP boasting about your brother to random civilians.

Ace: But...but they need to know about how grown up and awesome he is!!!

Thatch: They can read about it in the paper. He's making headlines recently.

Ace: He is!!

Curiel: Not again!!

Thatch: Whoops?

68.) QUIT boasting about your brother to crew mates.

Ace: Now you guys are just being mean...What's the point in living if I can't boast about my awesome and cute baby brother?!?!

Rakuyo: How bout you focus on the fact that he's going through puberty and people trying to take advantage of your "cute" baby brother?

Ace: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Marco: Oh no...Now look what you've done, yoi.

Rakuyo: I'm sorry?

69.) Just because you don't get sick, DOESN'T mean you should dance in the rain.

Ace: I'm trying to please the weather gods!!

Namur: Weather gods....?

Ace: Don't shame my religion!!!

70.) No laying siege to the kitchen because Thatch won't let you taste test.

Ace: It's his fault in the first place. He makes me lay siege, whatever the hell that means, to the kitchen.

Thatch: My fault?!?!

Ace: Yes!!

Thatch: Just for that I'm completely cutting you off!!

Ace: Prepare for war beehive hair!!

Thatch: Did he...Did he just call my hair a bee hive...?

Pops: I believe so, my son.

Thatch: Bring it Fire Fist!!

71.) Even if you succeed in your siege, you may NOT barricade yourself in the pantry.

Ace: The pantry is a spoil of war for me and my fellow soldiers. We shall worship and give thanks to our fallen comrades in there.

Thatch: I...I don't know weather to kick his ass or to salute him....

Haruta: Why not both?'

72.) You are FORBIDDEN from using your puppy dog eyes. Izou can't stand up against them and everyone knows it.

Ace: Hehe, Izou really can't.

Izou: I can SO resist his puppy dog eyes.

Marco: You really can't, yoi.

73.) QUIT NIBBLING ON CREW MATES LIKE THEY'RE FOOD!

Ace: ...............

74.) Do NOT yell "Hey, guys! Watch this!", or anything of that nature, ever again.

Ace: Stupid...Stupid rule.

75.) Being raised by mountain bandits does NOT mean you should show off your exceptionally large swear word vocabulary at every given opportunity.

Ace: Ya'll are just jealous that I can make a sailor/pirate blush.

Marco: No, no we aren't. You traumatized children last time we were on an island. Their mother was not pleased.

Ace: I know not what you speakith of....