Girls In Love - A Lesbian Romance Anthology

You May Now Kiss The Bride

"Dearly beloved" The minister started, "we are gathered here today in the sight of God to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony."

Ok, hold up. So how am I - a lesbian - here in the first place to be married to a man I barely know and for certain do not love? And pregnant with his child no less!

Well, to understand it better, I must start way back in the day - all the way back to middle school actually. Before that we were all children and everything was kids' play - or at least I think so. Anyway, in middle school I started to notice I did not have the same goals in mind than my classmates when it came to adult life. They all wanted to have handsome boyfriends and be treated at princesses - and finally get married to said men and have a happy life as a bride.

Well I can't say I never wanted to be a bride - I did, actually, a lot. I still want to be - which is really ironical considering here I am, standing next to the altar going to be one, but I'm still unhappy. I guess when life gives you a good thing, you need to give up something - in my case apparently my identity, my life and most importantly - my love.

As the others ogled after handsome guys, I could not care less. I could not summon the enthusiasm to fawn over some guy. I thought I was broken or defective, until my third year there. When the third year started, everything became clear for me, and the reason for all of that was Vivian. Vivian Hayes. She came into my life like a shining star, blinding me with her brightness and wiped away all my doubts and fears. It was like someone lifted a lid from an age-old chest and blew away all the dust. When I first saw her, her slightly curly blonde hair, her playful smile and her twinkling blue yes, I fell in love. I fell in love so hard I instantly knew what my classmates had been talking about those last years. I wanted to be her bride so badly I hurt my heart.

But we were both girls! How would that work? For one - I had no idea how two girls would go on doing anything as couples, and on the other hand, the society at large did not look at something like that nicely. It was a taboo, a dirty thing that those freak "homos" were doing.

"Not to be entered into lightly", the minister continued, "holy matrimony should be entered into solemnly and with reverence and honor."

I watched her silently for the whole year I still was there, unable to word out my feelings - even to myself, really. Now I can say I loved her, and I still do. She's the only person on this planet of ours that I have ever truly loved. I went to junior high and lost her for two years again. I was silent, moody and turned to myself. The couple of friends I had were really worried about me, but I couldn't say anything, couldn't tell them the real reason. On my third year in junior high she entered the school again and light returned to my world. My friends noticed this and questioned me to no end. On one day, I cracked and confessed to my childhood friend that I was in love, and the person I loved was a girl. She looked at me so disgusted that it turned my heart inside out. Without saying a word, she left my house and I have never since talked to her. She avoided me at school and never again did we talk. It tore me apart, but the worst part was that I understood that I could never have Vivian. I could not do to her what just happened to me, not if it resulted in her getting shunned by everyone, that light to dim and die, I could not bear that thought. And even more, I was afraid that if I confessed to her, she would look at me with those same cold, disgusted eyes as my friend had done to me. That was a fear worse than death. I would gladly accept death or worse, but to have Vivian look at me like that.. that would have destroyed me.