Nagulat ako nang bigla niyang binitawan ang kubyertos at pinunasan ang kaniyang bibig gamit ang table napkin.
"I'm done eating. Excuse me," aniya at mabilis na tumindig at lumakad na paalis ng restaurant, leaving me alone on our table.
"Fuck, I messed up," I hissed.
Sumenyas ako sa waiter para kuhanin ang bill namin. Matapos kong kuhanin iyon ay nag-lagay ako ng bayad, sobra pa sa amount ng mismong bill namin. We need to give tips to the waiters.
"Thank you, Sir. Come again," the guard said as I walked out from the wooden door of the restaurant.
I have no idea where Kara went but my instinct told me to go to our cabin. It's the safest place she could go to at this hour.
I wasn't surprised to see her inside our cabin. What brought me horror was her travel bag. She's putting all her things inside it.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked. I don't care if I sounded annoyed because I really am.
"I'm going home," she said while packing.
"At this hour? Are you kidding me?"
"Ano ba ang pakielam mo?" This time, she faced me. Her tears could't escape from my eyes even though she wiped them away.
Tangina.
"Ano ang pakielam ko?" Tanong ko, hindi makapaniwala sa naririnig sa kaniya.
"Yes! Why the fuck do you care about me, huh?!" She shouted while crying.
"Tangina pala, Kara. Syempre may pakielam ako sa'yo! Boyfriend mo ako 'di ba?"
"Not anymore." She looked away.
Fuck.
Ano raw? Nabingi yata ako.
"Ano ang ibig mo'ng sabihin?" Kumunot ang noo ko.
"Damn it! Are you stupid?" She sounded so frustrated.
Tangina, nafu-frustrate rin ako!
"I'm am breaking up with you."
Gago, totoo ba 'to?
"Seryoso ka ba?" Hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.
"Do I look like I am kidding?"
"Putangina naman, Kara." Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko. Sinabi ko na nga ba at maaga akong tutubuan ng uban dito sa babae na 'to, e.
"I-I realized... I rushed things. We rushed things. I liked you, yes, but it's not as strong as the feeling of love. I'm not in love with you."
Tangina, ang sakit no'n ah.
"Then why the fuck did you flirt with me?" Iritado kong tanong. Nag iinit na ang mga tenga ko sa sobrang inis ko.
"Oh c'mon, Caleb! Gwapo ka! You're as hot as Channing Tatum, why the fuck wouldn't I flirt with you?!"
Putanginaaaaa.
"What about me, then? I am in love with you."
Tangina, mag mukha na akong tanga, huwag lang tayong mag break.
"You can't be in love with me that fast, Caleb. Stop saying bullshit."
"Ano ba ang alam mo sa nararamdaman ko?" Tumingin ako sa kaniya nang naka-kunot ang noo. Kung pwede ko lang balibagin lahat ng gamit dito para maka-labas lahat ng galit na nararamdaman ko, ginawa ko na.
Nakita ko siyang bumuntong hininga bago tumingin sa mga mata ko. Mukhang kinakalma niya ang sarili niya dahil sa pag-iyak.
"Whether you agree on this or not, I am still breaking up with you. I tried---"
"Ang lakas mo naman mang-gago, Kara, e! Ano ba ang akala mo sa'kin? Tester? Tester ng make-up sa mall? Gano'n? Susubukan mo kung bagay sa'yo, tapos kapag na-realize mong hindi, basta-basta mo na lang iiwan pagkatapos mong gamitin?! Gano'n ba, Kara?!"
"That's not true! Why the hell are you seeing it that way?!" She sounded hurt.
Well I am hurt, too, woman. You are driving me crazy!
"I have no other way to see it. You only used me."
"Don't be so dramatic about our stupid relationship, Caleb! One week lang tayo! Why are you acting like we lasted for years?!"
"I have cherished this "stupid relationship" for a week now! Linggo man o taon, walang pinagka-iba 'yon kasi putangina, sa sandaling panahon na nakasama kita, binaliw mo ako nang husto. Tapos ngayon, gusto mo akong iwan?" My voice broke.
Tumungo ako at nag punas ng luhang lumandas mula sa mata ko. I shouldn't be crying about this.
"Bakit mo ba ako gustong iwan?" Tanong ko habang naka-tungo. I can't look at her face. Gusto kong magalit sa kaniya.
"Ikaw ang mang-iiwan 'di ba? Ikaw!"
"I'm going to leave because of my work! It's my career!"
"I can't be with someone who's far away from me. A lot of things can happen while we're apart. I can't risk my inner peace! I'll get worried every single day thinking about you! I don't want that!"
"So you're suggesting a break up instead? Ni hindi mo pa nga nasusubukan, sumusuko ka na agad?"
"I don't want to try because I am already certain. This won't last. Rushed things won't ever last, Caleb. Remember that."
Pumikit ako at suminghap. I don't think I can process all of these shits tonight. I need time for myself. I need time to think.
"Okay." Tumango ako at bumuntong hininga.
Maybe, she's just confused. We're ruled by our emotions that's why we can't understand each other. Nasasaktan namin ang damdamin ng isa't-isa nang hindi sinasadya. We both need time. We're overwhelmed by this relationship. Everything went too fast, that we can't grasp the whole situation we're in.
"Ako ang aalis. Dito ka lang." I said and grabbed my things. I packed my bag.
"You paid for this. I should be the one who should leave, not you."
"I can't sleep peacefully worrying about my girlfriend's whereabouts. Ako ang aalis. Matulog ka na."
She sat on the bed and bit her lip.
Kinuha ko na ang mga gamit ko. Lumapit ako sa kaniya.
"Rest well, love." I kissed her forehead.
She flinched but she didn't talk. She let me go.
Everything went fast. I'm sorry. I'm giving you time to think. But I'm not giving you up.
BINABASA MO ANG
Mails of Trust (Military Series #2)
RomanceCOMPLETED Colonel Caleb Stellan Esguera, an army who's always ready to die for his motherland. He's a slave to his work. He always wants to be in the middle of every war he can be in. He is always miles away from his family because of his field of w...
