Red vs Blue x Male OC / Season 4

S4 • E4 - Fair Competition

The three aim their rifles at the alien.

Alien: "Blargh!"

Caboose: "Stop! He is my friend."

Alien: "Blargharg."

Caboose: "He is not going to eat anybody."

Andy: "Yeah, he thinks you guys stink too much to eat."

Alien: "Blargh."

Tex: "He thinks we stink?"

Alien: "Blargh blargh."

Tex: "It smells like someone set a fish on fire in here."

Ash: "Agreed."

Zeta appears.

Zeta: "Ugh! Even I can smell it, and I'm an A.I." She said covering her nose.

Alien: "Blargh?"

Church: "Caboose, what the fuck man, are you sure about this thing?"

Caboose: "Absolutely, he has not tried to bite me, at all."

Alien: "Hnnk!"

Caboose: "Since he bit me the first time."

Andy: "Heheh yeah, that was hilarious."

Caboose: "I think I might need a tetanus shot.

Alien: "Blargh blargh, blargh hnnk blargh."

Church: "Whoa, that thing's breath smells like infected cheese on a hotplate." He coughs.

Tucker starts coming down the ramp.

Alien: "Blargh, blargh!"

Andy: "I don't think he liked that."

Tucker: "Whoa, man, what is that stench?"

Church, Zeta, Ash, and Tex all point to the alien.

Alien: "Blargh."

Tucker: "Is a skunk juggling dead hamsters in here?"

Alien: "Blargh."

Tucker: "It smells like old yogurt."

Alien: "Largh, whargh, wharharhrgh."

Tucker: "Did you eat and then throw up a can of trash?"

Alien: "Hnnk!"

Caboose: "That's exactly what he said right before he bit me."

Ash: "Uh... You sure Caboose?"

Alien: "Largher, hnnk! Hrarhrh."

Tex: "You understand what he's saying?"

Ash: "I read up a bit on the language. But not all so..."

Tex: "What about Zeta? Can't she create an algorithm to translate for us?"

Zeta: "Too be honest? I barley have enough information on them in my data banks. Wanted to save money I guess."

Tex: "How cheap."

Zeta: "Tell me about it."

Alien: "Largh..." His dislodge just kinda keeps going in the background.

Church: "Whey hey wait, I think I'm hearing a pattern here. I think that blarghs come after honks. Or, vice versa."

Caboose: "I think, I think blargh means, me, or, apples. Guys, Apples must be the name of his cat! Quick, quick, is- is Apples stuck in a tree? I will call the fire department."

Church: "Mister Huge Alien, do you understand what we are saying?"

Alien: "Wharrrgh!"

Church: "I have no idea if that means yes or no. "

Caboose: "Totally blows away your vice versa theory. Sorry."

Tucker: "You two are retarded. You're not gonna be able to figure out alien language by experimentation, give it up."

Church: "You don't know that!"

Tucker: "You don't even know how they talk. What if their language isn't entirely verbal? It could be part telepathic, or via smells. Whoh."

Church: "Well if it's via smells then you should be fluent in the language already. Jackass."

Alien: "Hnnk!"

Church: "Oh shut up, you're not helping."

Caboose: "Wait! I think Tucker might be right. I think he might be saying things telepathically. I just heard something in my head!"

Church: "What? What was it?"

Caboose: "It was a voice, saying, "Blargh blargh blargh honk."

Church: "That wasn't in your head Caboose, he just said that. You're just so dumb you're lagged a few seconds behind us. By the time your brain figures out what it's heard, it feels like it's already happened."

Caboose: "..."

Alien: "..."

Caboose: "... That's not true. Wait! I hear something else in my head! It must be Apples, trying to communicate with me! Quick, Tucker, get a ladder!"

The Alien continues blarging.