SAPPHO // Carrie Wilson - JATP

•Chapter 11•

CONFUSED
2021

A lot had been on Carrie's mind since yesterday, after all, it was the first day in her life that she actually acknowledged who she was, even if she was still hiding that part of herself from the public, it was one step in the right direction.

Her mind kept going back to the blond boy that had visited her yesterday, so many questions were running through her head - most of them were things that she never thought she would ask about herself, but as fate will have it, those questions have almost consumed her life in the short time that they've been around.

She didn't know who the blond boy was specifically, as she had never seen him around the school - but he was obviously one of Julie's friends, so maybe he's just a new student that she had met and befriended in a short time?

To say that Carrie would've rather been in a room with her father for the whole day, rather then at school, made it clear that the last place she wanted to be, was at school. After what happened the day before, she found herself mentally drained, and not at all ready to face the inevitable embarrassment that was bound to follow her, for the rest of her high school life.

She didn't dress up at all, she kept things simple - hoping to blend into the crowd and not create any unnecessary attention toward herself.

She shoved her lunch into her locker, before trying to mentally prepare herself for the rest of the day.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Nicks voice says softly, as he stands next to her. Carrie doesn't look up, she didn't want to forgive him, but she also didn't need one more thing to make her days worse then they were bound to be.

"It's okay, it's in the past." Her voice was barely audible, but the message seemed to get through rather quickly.

"It's not okay, I shouldn't have said that to you. I was assuming things that probably aren't true, and even if they were, it's none of my business."

"You're right, it is none of your business." Carrie's voice was louder, and more affirming. She slammed her locker closed and walked away from Nick, leaving him feeling sorry for her, but also slightly guilty. She tried to make a run for her home room, but she was quickly stopped by the one person that she was absolutely dreading, seeing.

"Hi, Carrie."

"Flynn?"

It came as a shock that Flynn would even look in Carrie's direction, let alone talk to her.

"I just wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. What I did was beyond unprovoked and I should've held myself back, but I was just so angry when I saw you with Julie, given your track record with the bulling over the last few years."

"Can I go?" Although Flynn felt bad for Carrie, and saw her mistakes in her actions, Carrie wasn't ready for this apology - it was awkward and honestly, after how Carrie treated Julie over the last few years, she deserved it.

"I'm trying to apologise?"

"I know, you're forgiven. Can I go now?"

"Sure, I guess. I'll see you in music?"

Carrie didn't answer Flynn, instead, she hurried past her to her first lesson, needing a distraction from everything she was feeling.

Home room was boring, Carrie sat alone as usual - knowing that Kayla would only arrive at school when the first lesson starts.

Math class was next in the schedule, and While it did provide Carrie with a temporary distraction, the stress of algebra, was definitely not helping Carrie in the slightest.

"So sorry that I'm late Mr. Clarke, my car was giving me troubles as I was driving to school."

"It's no problem Kayla, go sit down."

Kayla had finally arrived at school, dressed in her normal purple themed attire. In comparison to what Carrie was wearing, Kayla was dressed like a runway model - her clothes were designer, and fit to her exact proportions. It did make Carrie self conscious, but she knew that in the long run, none of her expensive clothes would get her anywhere in life, so she chose comfort over looks.

"I see you haven't made an effort again, today." Kayla sat down in her normal space, next to Carrie, and of course she had to start her day with a passive aggressive comment.

"I wasn't in the mood to dress up today."

"Seems like you're never in that kind of mood anymore."

She never let Kayla's constant comments affect her, but they did still sting. She knew that Kayla wouldn't understand how she was feeling - that was clear from the first time they had a band argument, when Dirty candy was still around, about the practice times - Carrie was always too tired, but because Kayla was majoring in dance, she saw the rehearsals as a piece of cake.

"Why the long face?"

The voice caught her off guard, making her jump, which lead most of the back row to shoot daggers at Carrie.

"Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you before school, but by the time I got to your house, you had left already."

He grabbed one of Carrie's pencils, and started scribbling on the table.

"How did you even get in this class without the teacher noticing, you're definitely not in this class."

"I just walked in? You're the only one who can see me anyway."

Alex was a person, that was one thing that Carrie was sure of, but how could he be only seen by her? Maybe he was a superhero. It could explain how he got into her house yesterday. But that's ridiculous, superheroes aren't real, and even if they were, they wouldn't look like a regular teenage boy.

Carrie decided to go along with Alex game, pretending that he was an 'invisible man' to everyone else.

"So everyone just thinks I'm just talking to an imaginary person right now?"

"Have a look for yourself."

She didn't know how she had somehow missed the excessive attention she was getting, but as soon as she lifted her head up, to finally look up at the class - All eyes were on her. Everyone had shocked and slightly scared faces. It was suddenly clear that what Alex was saying, was in fact true. She definitely was the only one who could see him, and everything he said, was only heard by her. Everything she had said, had been heard by the whole class - she was officially going to be labeled as insane.

She almost slammed her head down on her desk, in embarrassment, as all the eyes slowly looked away from her.

"So, who was that girl you were talking to in the hallway." Carrie looked up at Alex, to find him suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

Alex already knew the girl was Flynn, but if Carrie had a crush on this girl, this was her chance to come clean to him.

Luckily, the bell rang loudly, just as Carrie was about to answer with a sarcastic comment. She quickly grabbed her stationary and her book, and walked out of class, leaving Alex running behind her, still nagging about who the girl was.